Usually when someone is venting at me, I feel like I should respond somehow and say something, but I have no idea what that something could/should be. Is it better to just listen or try to comfort them in some way?
Usually when someone is venting at me, I feel like I should respond somehow and say something, but I have no idea what that something could/should be. Is it better to just listen or try to comfort them in some way?
You should react, at least lol. But you need to consider that most folks aren’t looking for advice. Rather, they need a validation of their experience.
Better to say “Wow, that really sucks” or “That’s crazy!”.
Maybe ask a followup question the to show that you’re listening, “well, what happened after?” or “what are going to do next?” End with “Thanks for sharing that with me, I know it’s not easy”.
Do not say, “you should try X or Y” unless they explicitly ask.
It’s a weird concept for me, cause when my wife vents - I hear a problem and I want to offer solutions. But I gotta fight that instinct.
deleted by creator
Yeah.
Helping when someone has a problem is a predisposition among all people. How we help - whether it’s active listening or task assistance is the question. Whether those tendencies are genetics or learned behavior is anyone’s guess. All I know is that it’s observable behavior. Enough to make a few silly standup comedy bits over.
Learning to not fix every problem is one of the most counterintuitive things a dude can do to better their relationships. 🤷