This community is for people who have a special neuronal configuration and I’d like to hear how you discovered it. Were you told? By who? How did you take it? How is life today?
Here’s my story:
I was only told by my mother that I’m smart but never anything else. She took me to a school psychologist for evaluation to decide what school form I should go to after elementary.
My teachers in elementary school thought I should go to a more basic school form but my mom was convinced I was too smart for that. So I went to sort of an advanced school. It was no problem intellectually but I became an outcast pretty much immediately. Had to switch schools later because of my social difficulties.
It took another 20 years for me to go out on my own and search for the reason why stuff wasnt working. Neither normal “desk” work nor “supervisor” positions worked really. When I went self employed, I found a spot for the first time.
When covid hit and I had to give up my company, I went digging for answers. “Gifted” was the first thing, but it wasnt the whole picture. When “Autistic” was added it all started making sense. Too much going on in the head to “be normal” but no social talent to actually make something out of myself in the corporate world.
Its an ongoing process of resolving trauma as much as possible and learning to live with what isnt resolvable. Explaining the process and situation to people, sometimes against opposition is not easy but all in all my life has become a lot healthier.
Thanks for reading. Have a good one!
“Different?” That’s just always been true.
I’ve been going to a psychologist on and off for “social dysfunction” since I was like 3. My family wasn’t well off, so it was more my mom trying to do what she could with evaluations or whatever every few years.
I was diagnosed with ADD back when everyone was diagnosed with it, despite not meeting pretty much any of the criteria. My mom tried to argue about it, but random not-quite-poor person vs psychologist, she was blown off.
I used to fantasize that there was an alien civilisation that was trying to understand earth and so created a human-alien mental hybrid to try to make sense of humanity. It’d mean there was nowhere I truly belonged, of course, but it’d also mean there was a reason, a purpose, to me being surrounded by confusing aliens.
Mom ended up going to medical school and learned about autism (and Asperger’s, at the time) while there. She was furious. I was a textbook case of a woman with Asperger’s syndrome, but in my youth, psychologists frequently didn’t consider it possible for female patients to have Asperger’s.
She wasn’t sure if she should mention it, since by that time I was an adult and on my own. I discovered it through a video game, actually - To The Moon, an amazing story in which one of the main characters has Asperger’s.
I mentioned it to her as a “holy crap, I looked into this and I feel like I’ve been seen!” And she mentioned what she’d learned in school. It kinda annoyed me that she hadn’t passed that along, but between her support and what I’d seen, I pursued options and got diagnosed.
Now it’s just autism and not Asperger’s, but whatever. Still, it was blatantly obvious my entire life. I had a rough childhood. I didn’t manage to actually make a friend of my own till I was 17. I had a few friends before then, sort of, but they were a thing where I was kinda adopted because I was easy to manipulate, and not any real connection.
I could be defiant as hell, but I was so lonely, I’d do anything for those who called me friend, so… yeah, not the best friendships, in hindsight.
Really wish those psychologists would have identified my issues back when. My life would have been vastly different.
Oof! I‘m sorry you had to go through that. I‘m somewhat sure it would have been different for me as well.
Do you have someone to talk to about this? It helped me a lot to have someone who helps me make sense of my situation.
Also, I recently joined a computer club. They‘re basically doing parallel play every day. I love it. Just in case this is something that interests you.
Otherwise, feel free to join [email protected] if you havent yet. The people are nice. You can also send me a message on matrix if you want to connect. My wife and I are advocates for autistic adults. Just an option.
Have a good day. All the best to you.
Thank you! That’s really sweet, I appreciate it.
It’s been a number of years, and I’ve found my way. Found someone truly amazing to get married to and she’s done a lot to help me out. I still suck at making friends, but my wife helps bridge that gap.
Interestingly enough, tabletop roleplaying games, like dungeons and dragons, helped me more than anything else. I could practice different ways of interacting with people and get actual feedback on how I came across - people will criticize characters I’m pretending to be in a way that they won’t for my real self. And it has lower stakes - if I screw up in that context, it doesn’t matter. If I freeze and don’t know what to do, I can just roll a die and make the problem go away.
I appreciate what you and your wife are doing. If it weren’t for my wife, I’d probably really be in need of that sort of support. Thank you.
That sounds very nice! I‘m happy that you have support. Funnily enough, my wife and I play d&d as well and make new friends there.
You’re still invited to connect with the community or us if you want to share experiences.
Have a good one! :)