I’m 36, and while my love life has been varied and interesting, over the last few years I’ve started to want to settle down. I know it doesn’t happen overnight. But recently it’s been weighing on me more and more. I reminisce about past relationships. I feel hopeless about meeting someone in the future who shares my values.

On the one hand you hear things like “happiness comes from within”, but on the other we are social animals and 99% of us want to feel loved and to love.

  • @randomessa
    9•1 year ago

    I’d suggest a combination of the following in whatever amounts you feel comfortable with:

    • if you don’t already have one, get a pet you feel you could successfully care for. The unconditional love of a puppy or kitten gives you 99% of the “feeling wanted” yearning. Also, taking your dog to a dog park might open you up to meeting new people and making more friends.
    • someone else suggested video games, and I’d add online/co-op games at that. It will give a lot of the “socializing” as well as the feeling of being needed. Also consider local D&D and other RPG groups if you have any.
    • in that vein, make use of Meetup or Craigslist to find local affinity groups. You mentioned wanting to find someone who shares your values, and that’s much more likely while participating in a group activity with people who share your values! There’s gaming groups like I said, but if there’s anything you can think of that you’d like to try, from painting like Bob Ross to knitting/crocheting to rock climbing to book clubs to yoga to meditation groups to programmed gym activities etc etc etc.

    And every one of those options opens up a tiny possibility of meeting someone who could be THAT someone (though I wouldn’t advise moving forward with that as the goal).