You ever been driving down the road when a crazed band of gangbangers rolled through your suburban neighborhood and blasted up the side of your truck with Uzis and Gatling guns for no reason? No, but you could easily imagine a scenario where that happens, right? Well, if your imagination became a reality, you’d need the only truck on the market that keeps pointing out it’s bulletproof for some reason.

Does your neighborhood have a billionaire who throws rocks at your truck window? No? Good, Cybertruck can’t handle that.

What if an anvil falls from the sky, or what if you drive into what seems to be a tunnel but turns out to be a realistic painting on the side of a mountain? It happens, dude—I’ve seen it on TV. Cybertruck could withstand that kind of stuff, but like, even more, Cybertruck is the only truck that will keep self-driving itself into the side of the mountain until it makes a real tunnel. In fact, Cybertruck could make a tunnel for a hyperloop from LA to San Francisco.

Edit: In case it isn’t clear, this is satire.