If you want to be polytato you need everyone to be informed of the nature of things before hand. It’s hard work to make sure everything stays in bounds. Obviously with more people comes more complexity.

If someone signed up for a burger and fries special and there was suddenly poutine, they will be rightfully pissed.

That said, people change, and discover hidden parts of themselves all the time. Just be an adult and have a rational conversation when the time comes. Feelings may be hurt but better to do it in a civil manner.

Consider reading The Ethical Slut if you’re interested in the lifestyle.