Donald Trump’s appearance in criminal court on Monday has raised many questions, constitutional and otherwise, but on the evidence of the first day I find myself most curious about the former president’s McDonald’s order. During jury selection last week, the Daily Mail reported on a $700 (£560) McDonald’s order put in by Trump staffers that included 27 orders of fries, 27 quarter pounders, a bunch of nuggets and no drinks. A McDonald’s employee complained anonymously that they didn’t leave a tip – in line with everyone who eats at McDonald’s – but still.
Anyway, this week, the Trump order was down to $500, although the Mail couldn’t confirm the itemised details due to management having cracked down on staff leaking. And while these orders were presented as “huge”, the fact is – a much commented on reality in New York – McDonald’s prices have gone through the roof in the last year and $500 doesn’t go far. (You’re lucky to get in and out for under $50 if you go in with two kids.) Which is shame because a quarter pounder with cheese with a cheeky cheeseburger on the side isn’t banal, it’s sublime.
My dad had an irrational hatred of McDonald’s so even when we got fast food, we went to Popeyes or Taco Bell or wherever. In college, I lived off Burger King’s dollar menu. But if you don’t have a positive childhood memory of the McDonald’s taste, it just tastes like chemicals. And if you don’t already know what they sell, it sucks going there. I went with a friend once and I was like, “Do they have a list of items they sell or is it all just combos I have to deconstruct?” People were annoyed because I was taking too long to order and I was like, “Motherfucker, I’m reading the menu. I don’t know what they call shit here.”
I’m not above eating fast food. I get a hankering for other places occasionally, especially for breakfast. But to this day, every McDonald’s item tastes really funky to me.