Been homeless over 6 years. My social services agency, high turnover. Being female , almost all my case managers have been female, standard practice.

Out of 17 case managers, only 2 have been male. Female cms: detailed, logical, responsive, solution oriented, clear effective communication. Male cms, the opposite.

I try to communicate clearly, effectively, which is easy cuz autism, and the 2 male cms, i get constant 2nd guessing, passive-aggressive defensiveness. Get impression they’re automatically assuming I don’t think clearly, don’t know what I’m saying. It’s weird, and I can’t figure out why.

I know not all men are the same. I’m not like all women. Have I just been unlucky with these 2 cms, or is there a gender aspect to this I’m not understanding? I’d like to learn.

  • @[email protected]
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    147 months ago

    passive-aggressive defensiveness

    Um, what?

    If you had 17 case workers, then I guess 16 weren’t a good fit for you, not only 2.

      • @[email protected]OP
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        67 months ago

        Yep. I’m grateful for the people who choose this work. Sucks they’re constantly overworked, under paid, such a frustrating often thankless job. I try to remind them, hey rough job, but you’ve made a difference for me, so ty.

        • @[email protected]
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          7 months ago

          I’ve heard it can also be really stressful when they have cases where they don’t have authority or budget to help people because of buerecracy and rules set by politicians etc.

          The result being the only people who survive in the job are people who’re unfazed by that, or learn to cope by not caring, which is probably the case with the two male case workers.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      47 months ago

      I text him. Ask him to tell doctor to fax insurance approval to pharmacy. Instead of doing that, he spends the next 3 hours sending me a series of texts criticizing me, telling me it’s my fault, not his, repeatedly pointing out, trying to get me to admit how irrational I was being.

      All I’d said was “at the pharmacy. Can you tell the doctor to resend the insurance approval please?”

      • Dojan
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        17 months ago

        What the hell! I thought the previous example was miserable, this is even worse! Does he have a supervisor you can report him to? That’s not acceptable behavior for a person in his position.