(when seated in a group with others, i should clarify. if i’m by myself i’m absolutely happy to be on my phone or book)

i genuinely have an issue. it’s like…there’s people on all sides. i need to rest my eyes somewhere, esp in a social setting which is already inherently a bit wearing

  • if you look down at your food, you look sad or disinterested or whatever
  • if you look at the ceiling that’s insane, isn’t it?

so that’s down and up out. let’s look at:

  • the sides, which have people there or nearly there, or obscuring the view of a nice window or painting, and you can’t stare at people.

fuck fuck fuck. what about:

  • the center. oh no. this is the nightmare zone. let’s break it down into 3 sections: the top contains their face, that’s quite insane to look at. downwards, the table across from you with their food, that could seem like you’re looking at their body very intently, can’t do that. the middle? if it’s a woman, then that’s very much bad form. but if you’re a guy generally attracted to women, part of your brain wants to look no matter what, at least a little. and since when you’re sitting, forward is the most natural direction to look (you can’t really turn around or move, particularly), so you keep coming back to it and AHH FUCK

fucking nightmare.

  • @troglodytis
    3•6 months ago

    I love this question.

    And sitting in a place of extreme privilege I say, meh, be you. Look everywhere. Here, there, wherever. If you catch someone’s eyes share a quick smile and look somewhere else. Fuck’m

    First, be you.

    Second, try to remember no one cares, and if they do, that’s on them.

    Third, ok, so don’t stare, look everywhere.

    This probably isn’t the answer you’re looking for. Sorry. But it is the answer that sprang into my brain. And in the theme of “be you” I typed it.

    It’s a great question and lots of folks have good perspectives. Big hugs and your you is awesome