What’s your experience with a power exchange or D/s dynamic where the main purpose is for keeping on track of your goals?
Obviously there are a ton of different ways to have an accountability buddy, but I would like to hear about people’s experience with it as a dynamic.
I am personally somewhat interested, but my neurospicey has it so that whenever anyone tries to tell me what to do or to keep me on track I suddenly find the task absolutely loathsome. So when my partner (and Dom) and I tried to add this accountability (like them making sure I made doctor appointments, took time for writing, or other things) to our dynamic, I quickly found it too irritating. The idea of it however, still sounds interesting… but maybe just not with a romantic partner???
I would love to hear from those who are also neurospicy or are with someone who is and if they were able to find such a dynamic helpful/ enjoyable.
I haven’t quite cracked this, partly because the things I find crazy hot to think about (in terms of nonsexual control) align too well with my unhealthy tendencies, if that makes sense. Like someone not letting me eat? Hot. Someone keeping track of my workout schedule? Hot. Someone not letting me have something unless I ask for it in another language? Mmm. Someone making me eat? Eeeew. It’s almost like I want to be forced to go back to disordered eating so that I don’t have to feel any responsibility for it and understand that is not something safe for me to play with.
Uninterested technology might be a better accountability partner. Or maybe a more positive dynamic where you decide to do these things (doctor appointments, writing) and are rewarded for taking the initiative yourself, not reminded or punished?
What you are saying makes a lot of sense. I find the line between self harm/ harmful practices and what’s acceptable can get somewhat blurry. Some of it seems like social norms that people have accepted without much critical thought. I know people who like to be beat to the point of crying, not because of any sexual or otherwise euphoric release, but because it feels cathartic and it helps them cry. Which probably isn’t too uncommon, but if someone were to inflict the same pain upon themselves (and let’s say they were careful about their limits and lasting damag), it would likely be considered concerning. Knife play fun, cutting bad.
It’s easy to spot the black and white cases of what’s safe and what isn’t, but sometimes the middle can get muddled… and likely better left to be determined by the individual.
The positive reinforcement thing could work if left to someone else. I get way too good at rationalizing why waiting for the reward is pointless, lol.