(when seated in a group with others, i should clarify. if i’m by myself i’m absolutely happy to be on my phone or book)

i genuinely have an issue. it’s like…there’s people on all sides. i need to rest my eyes somewhere, esp in a social setting which is already inherently a bit wearing

  • if you look down at your food, you look sad or disinterested or whatever
  • if you look at the ceiling that’s insane, isn’t it?

so that’s down and up out. let’s look at:

  • the sides, which have people there or nearly there, or obscuring the view of a nice window or painting, and you can’t stare at people.

fuck fuck fuck. what about:

  • the center. oh no. this is the nightmare zone. let’s break it down into 3 sections: the top contains their face, that’s quite insane to look at. downwards, the table across from you with their food, that could seem like you’re looking at their body very intently, can’t do that. the middle? if it’s a woman, then that’s very much bad form. but if you’re a guy generally attracted to women, part of your brain wants to look no matter what, at least a little. and since when you’re sitting, forward is the most natural direction to look (you can’t really turn around or move, particularly), so you keep coming back to it and AHH FUCK

fucking nightmare.

  • @RBWells
    1•7 months ago

    I am normal (as far as I know) and sure, I think about things like this but the answer seems more obvious - I look at whatever has my attention at that moment. The flow of attention happens naturally, perhaps that is the difference. I think it’s important to remember a couple of things:

    People are all focused on themselves more than you.

    It’s fine to fake it. Social interaction at something like a group meal is a superficial thing, just do what everyone else is doing and ask a couple of questions, answer when someone speaks to you, enjoy the food.