“Well I inhaled a lot of water but coughing it out onto this here carpet would be incredibly embarrassing so I guess I’ll just die.”

• Me several times a year

This is too real. The balance of trying to not die while also trying to look like you’re listening as someone else is talking

Everyone can tell, might as just cough and get it over with

And your eyes are watering, so you make some sort of excuse to cover them.

Last time I tried I got really red and people were like are you OK, you are turning really red. It made a way bigger scene.