In a raspy voice: Cave Johnson here…
Making Aperture Labs inaccessible for wheelchairs was a terrible idea. coughs They’ve filled me with tubes and wires to keep me alive. Well, that’s what I pay them for.
They keep giving me false hopes to cling to. First, a consciousness upload, which turned out incompatible. Then, some glowing rock from Australia that supposedly halts aging. Now, they claim they’re going to try cloning me.
Ahh… I’m done. It was a good run. I’ve got a couple of weeks left, so I’ll spend them somewhere warm.
I’ve handed over the operational administration of this Lemmy forum to an artificial intelligence the lab boys cooked up while working with Caroline. She’s the only thing I’ll miss from this place.
This is Cave Johnson signing out for the last time.
(Due to my upcoming finals, I won’t be able to post many memes for a week or two. In the meantime, you better start posting, or I swear I’ll find where you live and burn your house down—with lemons!)
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I need more of this, though.
