Work even if you are tired and in pain. Advise when asked and give praise easily for effort and intentions.

It will mean that you will have a child who has everything provided for who values their own effort and knows that if they want it (good intent), they can get it.

That’s a big question.

If I try to come up with a general answer, I think it’s about having responsibility for a growing human being and to an extent putting their needs above your own. You’re also a role model by default. I’m not sure how well I did with that.

When your kids are little, you’re literally taking care of everything for them, but the goal is to raise them to be self-sufficient, independent people. So, as time goes on, your role shifts as needed.

Right now my kids are adults. Two have graduated college and are working. One is still in college and just moved to her first apartment. It is no longer my job to make their decisions for them. Now I’m in the advice, support, and furniture-moving stage.

I hope one day to be lucky enough to reach the “watching the baby so they can go out” stage, but we’ll see.