Today I’m reading.

04/0310- "==>” (/homestuck/1652) to 04/05/10 - “John: Get trolled by CG.” (/homestuck/1667)”

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John has been taking the advice of a Troll gallowsCalibrator [GC]. He’s planning to skip several milestones of SBURB to get to a late stage boss fight. Supposedly this boss enemy will be asleep and not fight John allowing him to get a quick victory. However, in a doomed timeline we learned this is nonsense and John’s killed in this attempt. Dave from this timeline managed to warn John of his fate. However, John did not buy that Dave can time travel and he’s blasting off to his doomed fate anyway.

Rose, in the doomed timeline, ceased existing. This apparently allowed current timeline Rose to fall asleep and potentially “awaken”. The formally doomed timeline Dave, is now impaled bird sprite Dave. We’ll just call DaveSprite. DaveSprite reaches out to GC to let her know her plan to get John killed has been foiled. Though at this point that doesn’t seem to be true as John is an idiot.

This conversation is interesting. GC mentions that she genuinely didn’t think John would die from this. Since they are in a reverse timeline, she knew he’d be OK. But she’s also not surprised that one of the humans would time travel like this. The trolls have their own time traveler, they are not talking to the humans and do not approve of trolling them. She fully admits she is just trolling John, and badly. Dave points out that she convinced him to kill himself. She seems somewhat shocked by this, not realizing John is just really trusting and dumb. DaveSprite vaguely threatens to harm CG if she does anything “coy”. GC doesn’t really buy DaveSprites threats. Even with his new sprite powers, she compares him to captain planet. This seems to genuinely put them on peaceful terms.

I’ll again point out that this is Hanlons razor in action. GC may genuinely not understand the full effect of her trolling. Though she knows in the end it won’t be too harmful, her getting John “killed” was not out of malice, just ignorance. It seems DaveSprite recognized this and chose a vigilant peace over aggressive vengeance. With that of the way DaveSprite can do his job and be Daves guide in the game. Instead of annoying noises and riddles DaveSprite gives straight answers. He mentions that Dave now has a bunch of high level gear, and can get through the game easily. DaveSprite can’t join him on the planet yet as Dave needs to hit a certain level first. Until then he’s going to chill around and make comics or whatever. They performed a fist BUNP as bros.

At this point we are taken way back to page 131. This is when John opened Daves red package to retrieve the Con Air Bunny. This time though we see the note Dave had written to John. At least I don’t think we got to see this the first time.

This letter mentions that Dave mentions he likes John because he is naive and weird. He promises John that if his naive nature ever gets him into any trouble that he will have his back. John is currently basting off towards the final ring and his death. He considers this message and reconsiders. John tells Dave he trusts him now even if his claims that his future self showed up and told him things seem insane. This loving bro moment get’s interrupted by carcinoGeneticist [CG]. CG’s confused about how human babies are born. This is because John will at some point convince him that babies spawn from larvae. The trolling between them is mutual. CG mentions he will troll John harder in John’s future (CG’s past). CG mentions that the trolls are hiding in the Veil. This place is a belt of meteors between Skiai and a place called Derse. He’d mention that the Veil has a bunch of genetic labs and facilities used by the planets of the medium.

The game’s central story is the fight between the white and black capricans in Skaia. This will end with black winning. This results in “The reckoning” the black King and Queen will use the meteors of the veil to destroy Skaia. Skaia can handle some of these by creating portals to remove them. But it is a countdown and the players need to kill the black king and queen. CG mentions that John and his friends have already screwed up terribly. The reckoning will be triggered too early for them to stop anything. This will result in something bad happening. But CG is too frustrated to tell John all this again. John asks CG to tell GC “nice try” but he believes this is another of John’s pranks.


Till tomorrow, give yourself a fist bunp and keep riding the pumpkin tide.

  • @SeigestOPM
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    19 months ago

    **Edit: **I had been conflating Skaia and The Battlefield. as a reminder Skaia isn’t the planet with the checkerboard field, that is the battle field. However the clouds above it are Skaia. Skaia “big ball of pure sky” and The battlefield is the planet in its center.