What should I say or not say to the therapist for the first time? Should I come out and say I think I have ADHD or should I avoid my own self-diagnosis and ask them to evaluate my habits on their own? Anything I should say or not say in a first chat? Anything that may be a red flag or green flag with a new therapist?
I didn’t get diagnosed until my 30s too. I had the same feeling too. I was scared they’d think I was just seeking meds. I talked with my dr for a good 30 mins, unheard of honestly… and explained to her the way I’ve felt all my life… she got me a survey and she said after I finished it that she already knew she was going to treat me before the survey based off of our conversation. For me anxiety and adhd are one in the same. The meds allow me to stay focused for at least 6-8 hours at my current dose. It’s incredible. Best of luck. Just be honest. You know yourself better than anyone else. I also explained my anxiety which I think helped the awkwardness of my conversation.
I’m hoping that I won’t need meds at all and there’s an approach where I can just use therapy to help me understand myself and how I can manage my bad habits.
What’s frustrating is that I took some tests when I was younger but they were administered by someone in my family who actively was hoping I wouldn’t have ADHD and therefore wouldn’t need meds - so that confused me a bit… unless they were right and I’m potentially an anxious mess instead. But anxiety might be it’s own meds 🤪. Still would like to avoid it.
ADHD is one of the conditions that responds best to meds (success in the 70-80% range). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2518387/
Be open to it if you are diagnosed. My life changed drastically for the better in ways that habits or awareness could not have helped - lack of fatigue, depression gone, able to actually start things (activation energy), etc. ADHD is a difference in how our brains function and it’s hard to out habit a brain that is determined not to work the way it “should”.
Should also note the meds are different now than when we were kids.
Vyvanse changed my life. Without it, my career would have stagnated and my marriage would likely be over. I was diagnosed in my early 40s. I didn’t realize how many of my issues stemmed from the frustration caused by being forgetful, procrastinating, aggressive, etc. The meds, along w/ years of therapy, help me manage my brain. I’m still the same person w/ many of the same issues but I am able to manage them much better. I’m not saying meds are for everyone. But be open-minded. Realize that ADHD is just like any other disease or disorder. You would take meds for diabetes or high blood pressure. It is the same thing.
I know the feeling… believe me. I tried to not use meds… I never want to take an prescriptions. Somehow I saw it as being weak or feeling reliant on something made me… less of a person? I don’t know how to describe it. I even started using marijuana as a more “natural” alternative for awhile. Ultimately, through introspection I felt that not seeking the meds route was doing myself a disservice for a since of control that wasn’t necessary. I totally empathize with you and get it. Best of luck to you.
Do what you want, but you don’t have bad habits. Please don’t beat yourself up. It’s how your brain works.
I appreciate that perspective. They aren’t bad habits, they are different habits… and they work better in certain scenarios too. Convert those mannerisms to superpowers I say.
For your first session, don’t expect much more than just getting to know each other a bit, talking a bit about your goals and where you’re at. See if you vibe with them. It’s one of those interpersonal things that you can’t really objectively measure. Relax, feel them out as a person. As to self diagnosis: i think with a new therapist there’s a bunch of fundamentals before you get to those more significant issues. Once you do, be honest and open. Tell them you suspect you may have something like it and why you think that way and they should take it from there. But honestly, don’t expect too much from a first chat.
So, relax, get the foundational bits out of the way, when the time comes be honest about how I feel. Simple enough. Thanks!
Good job its a hard step to make
I think any good therapist would be fine with you trying to self diagnose. It’s only natural to try to find a way to explain our experiences.
I spoke to my GP/PCP about thinking I have ADHD, and they gave me 2 options. Either prescribe me meds or refer me to a specialist.
I went to a specialist who then administered me like 4-5 different tests/discussions. And they were able to tell me their perspective of if I had it or not
The therapist might be able to help run you through some of those tests, and they might be able to sniff out if you’re bored or overstimulated instead. In either case, I would come to the first meeting open minded and have overarching goals and bullet points you would like to go over and take the discussion from there
Nothing is better for and ADHD brain than tests and more tests. 😬
I’m 27, and I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago. When I first met with my psychiatrist I told them that I suspect I might have ADHD, and I told them why. There was a few appointments. I had to go through several evaluations where I answered a bunch of questions and they watched me closely when I was in. Then they interviewed my family to ask about my history and how I acted growing up, and then they started me on stimulant treatment. All in all it took me two months before they started medicating me.
Just make sure you’re seeing the right doctor for the right treatment. As far as I understand, a therapist can help you with cope with ADHD by helping you find ways to form habits to overcome your symptoms. a psychiatrist will help diagnose you officially and work with you to find a medication to help mitigate your symptoms.
For me they put me on Adderall and it has been completely life changing, but I’ve been told my case is pretty severe. (For context, my Dr. doesn’t like to treat people with stimulants first, and usually tries to treat for depression or other conditions that have symptom overlap with ADHD first, but he moved me to stimulants after interviewing my family.)
As amazing as treatment has been so far though, as they’ve been slowly increasing my dosage, the side effects are a bit rough, the medication wears off later in the day causing a crash - especially when I first started the come down was rough, and after about 3 weeks started to lose effectiveness, and no matter how much they’ve increased my dose it has not been as effective as it was in those first three weeks. (Tolerance seems to be building fast for me :< )
Yeah I don’t know if I could handle the crash and other side-effects. I already have so many other health things I am trying to manage and understand I feel like this would be another wrench thrown into the proverbial machine.
I did get a chance to meet with the therapist and she immediately was like “you have ADHD”. All it took was mentioning my unending fidgeting and constant need to rush things and she already knew where it was going. I wonder if a therapist has the ability to administer any tests even if they aren’t for the purpose of medication - more as a clinical confirmation of diagnosis I guess?
Thanks for your ADHD story btw!
A medical doctor (psychiatrists are also medical doctors) or psychiatric nurse are legally authorized to prescribe.
Psychologists and therapists are not.
