I’m also lactose intolerant, but the devil doesn’t sleep just cause I stopped fightin’ him.

  • @ickplant
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    4111 months ago

    I also refuse to tolerate lactose. Godspeed.

      • @Krudler
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        311 months ago

        It made me shoot milk out of my nose!

        Which is troubling because I was drinking Diet Pepsi.

      • rhsJack
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        411 months ago

        You are not the Batman the people wanted. Or the Batman the city needs. You aren’t Batman. But you ARE a hero serving the needs the people don’t have but we didn’t need pumpkin spice lattes yet here we are. I salute you not Batman.

  • @[email protected]
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    1511 months ago

    You don’t need me telling you this, but if you’re lactose intolerant, try the lactose enzyme supplements before and after a meal to help digestion.

    Lactaid I think is one of them

      • @WhistlingGhost
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        211 months ago

        I’m in the same boat after Alfredo pizza, some delicious iced Raspberry sticks and a glass of milk (to take the fire away from the pepper flakes that were a lot stronger than anticipated) 😅 popped like 6 lactase enzyme pills by the time I was done and good Lord my ass still has a barking spider hiding up in there somewhere! 🤣🍑💨

        • @[email protected]OP
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          111 months ago

          Assuming I have the bottle on hand, I’ll pop a couple of lactase pills every quarter of a pint of ice cream. As I understand it, your body needs to have the pills dissolve with the food. I’ll usually have like 6 by the end like you. Lol

          However, you may not be lactose intolerant. There’s also the possibility of having a straight up dairy allergy.

  • @Krudler
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    811 months ago

    I accidentally ate a 12 pack of ice cream sandwiches in one sitting last month.

    • @mojofrododojo
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      211 months ago

      did you trip and fall onto them? like, after #6 how was it accidental?

      I’m frankly impressed you survived the experience, imagine it was…something on the other side.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      311 months ago

      It’s almost time for sleep, otherwise I would love some. The caffeine would definitely clear me out.

    • @[email protected]
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      211 months ago

      Peppermint tea or a spoonful of peppermint oil is my go to for lactose (or any kind) of stomach ache. Tastes like toothpaste, but it works great!

  • @WhereGrapesMayRule
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    611 months ago

    Get some rest and go find some bacon. Until you can we’ll be thinking of you.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      111 months ago

      Is this really a remedy? Like how they say fatty foods and bread help with a hangover or something?

  • @dingus
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    511 months ago

    What kind of ice cream??

    • @[email protected]OP
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      511 months ago

      I had my butter pecan ice cream blended into a shake, and I got a small scoop of a flavor called Cookie Monster (blue sweet cream ice cream with cookie dough and Oreo’s) since I really wanted to try it.

      • @dingus
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        111 months ago

        Oh damn that sounds fantastic!!

  • Drusas
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    511 months ago

    As someone who is clearly sensitive to multiple food types but seemingly completely incapable of figuring it out, you have my sympathies.

  • @reddig33
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    411 months ago

    Look at the bright side — you probably won’t have to worry about weight gain. It’s just going to exit the other end in a hurry.

    • @mojofrododojo
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      511 months ago

      in a hurry.

      or all at once. NEVER TRUST A FART people, trust me on this one. NEVER.

      • @[email protected]OP
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        511 months ago

        Points to you

        This is what hurt looks like, people. Note it well.

        Puts a hand on your shoulder

        You didn’t deserve to be betrayed like that. Neither did your pants. It’s not your fault.

  • @[email protected]
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    411 months ago

    Hmm if you drink vinegar will it turn into cheese? Cheese is easier to digest than milk.

    • rhsJack
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      211 months ago

      Or even BETTER! It stays in, mixes into cheese, comes out as a cheese…log. A cheddar loaf, if you will. A veritable effluence of proper stinky cheese.

  • @[email protected]
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    311 months ago

    I ate a half a loaf of bread in one sitting once and then discovered that eating that much bread in one go will fuck you up. Bread sweats are real. I was soaking in sweat and shivering, horrific cramps are the worst shits.

    Never again.