Today I’m reading.

04/28/10- "==>” (/homestuck/1779) to 05/04/10 - “[S] WV?: Rise up.” (/homestuck/1801)”

Select this thingy to read my commentary

It’s been awhile since we’ve seen the Postal Mistress (PM). She is the pre-exile form of the Peregrine Mendicant. PM’s task is assassinating the black Queen and King, by Jack Noir. She instead took this information to the white queen who abdicated her throne and gave PM her ring of power. Making the situation worse Jack Noir decided to just kill the black queen himself. PMs current mission is to seek the white king on the Battlefield Skiai. But as she is waiting for a transport the ring gets pilfered from PMs pocket by a spy from the black kingdom. This spy is a “Courtyard Droll” (CD) who looks like this universe’s Clubs Deuce in a ridiculous outfit. Performing a stealth mission in a vibrant pink hat taller themselves is a challenge.

CD sneaks off to report back. They report to a “Draconian Dignitary” (DD, Diamond Droogs) that they have the ring. DD mentions that Hegemonic Brute (HB, Hearts Boxcar) is looking for the king on the battlefield. It is not mentioned which king. Given the Sovereign Slayer (SS, Spades slick, Jack Noir) just killed his own queen it could mean they intend to kill either King or possibly both. DD also reminds CD that the ridiculous outfits and hats are no longer needed. The the new leadership, has banned them, but CD prefers it.

This report is abruptly cut short as CD is drop kicked by Jade. This is probably the first time we see any player directly involve themselves in the game. Inadvertently Jadebot is attacking her grandfather’s taxidermied corpse. Jade retrieves the ring but it is too late to give it back to PM who is blasting off to the Battlefield. She puts the ring on as a reminder to deliver to PM somehow. It seems the ring has no effects on human players.

We then have a huge animation showing the war in the Battlefield. It starts by showing us that the battleground changes depending on the number of prototypes in play. Currently this session has 3 as Jade hasn’t prototyped anything yet. At 1, it’s a seemingly normal chessboard. At 2 sprites the chessboard is a much bigger and a cube. At 3 sprites the chessboard is seemingly a whole planet. The ground is still a black and white grid. There is now plantlife, hills, lakes, and even non combatants occupying the board. The board changes, but as we’ve seen this change also affects the pieces. The weird outfits are from Johns harlequin doll, or Roses tentacle princess. Also, the powers that the queen’s rings have are also from the sprites.

With this in mind the battlefield is weird. The pawns are about as you’d expect they are caprecians with swords and uniforms. They are marching under Dersite and Prosprit banners. But then we see them hopping out of futuristic dropships. There are also huge battleships flying in the sky shooting at each other down. We also see huge horse shaped creatures with tentacles about the size of buildings. These are fighting rook armed golems that are about the same size. There are also a bunch of weird homunculus abominations. These ones are about 4 times the size of a regular caprecian running around. The kings are also gigantic. They have some of the sprite powers that the Queens ring provides. But the kings powers come via scepters instead of the rings. I’d guess these were all created in labs like the one John is currently in. carcinoGeneticist [CG] had told John about the use of ecobiology for creating weapons of war.

On this scene 2 stories unfold. One is of a Warweary Villein living as a humble pumpkin farmer on Skiaia. This is the Wayward Vagabond (WV), and the Mayor of Cantowns former life before becoming an exile. WV forms his own tattered banner, from the burnt remains of his pumpkin stall. His farm got destroyed in the fighting. WV somehow amasses an army of the disenfranchised. WV’s army is one made from those done with the fighting and done with the monarchy. He marches his new army directly to the black king and prepares to face them. But at this time the Jack Noir arrives onto the battlefield with all his new powers provided by the ring. As WV looks upon the massive king and its scepter it looks like the king could have easily won against them all. But Jack cuts the king’s scepter in half. This makes the king into a nearly normal sized fat caprecian. Jack finishes the job cutting the black king’s head clean off while WV and his army look on in confusion.

The second story is that of PM. They arrive on the battlefield and stand before the White king who is just as huge and terrifying as the black one. She would present the ring of the white queen to him but she discovers it is now gone. The White King seems to know what is going on anyway and surrenders his sceptre to PM. This leaves him vulnerable, and Hegemonic Brute takes advantage of this. He attacks PM causing the white scepter to fly off a cliff into a nearby stream.

From what I am getting from this, PM need both the ring of power and the sceptre for some greater task. It seems the white monarchs knew they’d inevitably lose the war. They have found some desperate way to change the fate of the land. Though Jack Noir seems to be aware of this and is taking matters into his own hands.


Till tomorrow, remember that war sucks, and keep riding the pumpkin tide.

  • @SeigestOPM
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    110 months ago

    Edit: I had been conflating Skaia and The Battlefield. as a reminder Skaia isn’t the planet with the checkerboard field, that is the battle field. However the clouds above it are Skaia. Skaia “big ball of pure sky” and The battlefield is the planet in its center.