This isn’t a race thing, more of a cultural thing.
I met a girl on Hinge, she is from China but studies in my city in the UK. We both had a good time, it was a simple coffee and walk date, I walked her home after and we agree’d we would see each other again next week.
What I don’t know is, how will the differences between our cultures affect dating? I don’t want to cross any boundaries I shouldn’t and most of all I don’t want to offend her. I plan on talking to her about these things if we go on to have more than 3 or 4 dates, but in the mean time, is there anything I should know?
I really enjoyed the company of this girl, and I can see myself having something special with her but I’m also being cautiously optimistic, it has only been 1 date after all.
If you bring this up super early - you’re just going to make it weird. She’s a person just like you are. Any cultural misunderstanding should be easily rectified given that you are both adults and capable of communicating.
Relax buddy.
Just enjoy the time spent together.
Thanks, I’ll do my best to relax and enjoy it. I’ve not dated for a few years so I’m not really sure what I’m doing 😂
My advice on all things like this is to treat every person as unique, and not make too many assumptions. Yes, the culture that a person was raised in impacts who they are, and there are cultural norms that tend to be true. But China is a big and diverse country. A person who grew up in a small village in China will have a much different experience than someone who grew up in a big city, just for one example.
Also, remember that she is here now, and she isn’t going to be expecting things to be like China. She may not even want that
Be respectful. Don’t push if she sends reluctant to share something. Get a sense of her as a person and what she wants by talking to her. Same advice holds true for anyone you might be dating.
She is Chinese living in the UK. So she is more mindful and open to your culture.
The big things: don’t bring up, or talk about, unless she starts the discussion - Taiwan, Chinese Politics, Uygers, etc.
Nice to haves she might appreciate:
- Taking shoes off before entering a house
- Having chopsticks at home, and knowing how to use them
- Having a hot water boiler always ready to go
- Having different teas stocked
Taiwan, Chinese Politics, Uygers, etc.
On the contrary, bring these things up immediately and if she answers like a CCP shill, stop dating her.
Not many people like being put on the spot with political hot button issues that could get them or their family in trouble at home.
If the goal is to get continued dates, you don’t want to make someone feel like they are walking through a mine field
This won’t be easy, I’ve dating two girls from Asia. The differences are real and keep in mind she’s not an average Chinese girl. Average girls can’t study in the UK.
It’ll be difficult.
Edit: I’m doing it, it’s challenging, the cultural differences are enormous. I love her, and as long as she’s happy with me I’m happy to work on it. But it’s definitely difficult.
