WASHINGTON—Telling Americans that they must act now to avoid losing out on the chance of a lifetime, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas announced at a press conference Monday a 50% discount on all favorable rulings. “Today and today only, I’m offering half off on tilting any jurisprudence in your favor—all…
  • sab
    86•4 months ago

    It’s convenient that the gavel is used both for auctions and for courtrooms. Both situations apparently boil down to giving it to the highest bidder.

  • @samus12345English
    63•4 months ago

    I knew it was satire because there’s no way he’d give a discount.

  • @MashedTechEnglish
    33•4 months ago

    Now that is a good article.

  • @BerylEnglish
    24•4 months ago

    Just take John Oliver’s motor coach Clarence, you know you want it !

  • @resetbypeerEnglish
    22•4 months ago

    For a limited time only. Conditions may apply. Contact your local representative at 1-800- unconstitutional to get your benefits today.

    Live life like Clarence. You truly deserve it.

    /S just to be sure

  • @HootinNHollerinEnglish
    10•4 months ago

    It’s our tax season AND election season super combo blowout!

  • @yesmanEnglish
    8•4 months ago

    I bet that this corrupt asshole has been sniffing for counteroffers since Oliver’s show.

    I’ll bet the biggest stick in his eye is not that everyone is laughing at him, it’s that he sees how cheaply he sold out.