New Orleans superintendent tells council committee that rodents have infested the building and requests to move headquarters

New Orleans superintendent tells council committee that rodents have infested the building and requests to move headquarters

Cops in New Orleans are on the tail of a brazen gang of narcotics traffickers who broke into the evidence room at police headquarters and pilfered all the pot: a swarm of rodents with a hankering for the high life.

“The rats are eating our marijuana. They’re all high,” Anne Kirkpatrick, superintendent of the city’s police department, told a council committee meeting on Monday.

The chief’s ratting out of the prime suspects was part of her pitch to councilors to fund a move for her officers into new premises in the Big Easy’s downtown, according to Nola.com.

  • @MightBeAlpharius
    45•3 months ago

    I don’t want to be a downer, but… The rats probably aren’t high if they’re just eating weed. Buckle up, y’all, time for a stoner science lesson:

    THC is present in cannabis in two main forms: THCA and Delta-9 THC. Throwing around those delta numbers can seem scary given all of the unregulated Delta-8 in illegal states, but it’s really not. THCA breaks down into Delta-9 THC naturally with time and heat, through a process called decarboxylization… Which is great, because THCA isn’t psychoactive, while Delta-9 THC is. Because of this, smoking a joint or eating a properly made edible will get you high, but eating an entire ounce is just having a terrible salad.

    • monotremata
      13•3 months ago

      And for those thinking that maybe time could have turned the THCA into delta-9 THC, that’s true, it could have; but time would also turn that delta-9 THC into CBN. So the delta-9 levels would be unlikely to have increased much over the baseline regardless of how old the weed was.

  • @[email protected]English
    44•3 months ago

    Anyone want to take odds on someone stealing and smoking it, then blaming rats as an excuse for why it’s gone?

    • ForestOrca
      14•3 months ago

      I’m not certain about rats specifically, and in humans the marijuana needs to be heated first before it will be psychoactive. If rats were eating marijuana, they’d probably want the seeds which are very nutritious. But marijuana grown for human consumption tends to not have a lot of seeds in it. So I’m with you, there’s some pilfering going on. Now, if one could train a nest of rats to enter the evidence room, and bring out MJ, then it would lower the amount of evidence to be brought to court. I’m just ‘spit balling’ here.

  • Ebby
    19•3 months ago

    The psychoactive THC is activated by heat so unless the rats brought little lighters, they are just eating stinky salad. Other forms, such as edibles etc. would work, but I feel bad for a little rodent starting out on 10mg. That’s going to be a bad day.

  • @[email protected]
    17•3 months ago

    My conspiratorial mind thinks the cops are just making up an excuse to get a brand new multi-million dollar station funded by the taxpayers they couldn’t give a shit about.

    And btw, just think of how all that money could be better used to build geared-to-income housing for the thousands of people living in squalor where the rats eat up their food sources.

  • Flying Squid
    9•3 months ago

    “Did you ever think that maybe cats don’t eat us, but we’re eaten by cats?”

    “Whoa.”

  • @babypigeon
    8•3 months ago

    Yup, it was the rats. Most definitely rats. Nobody else interested in drugs around here. Just the rats.