Image Transcription

(A 4Chan “green-text”, with a picture of Pepe wearing a blue starry wizard hat and holding a star-topped wand)

at a stop light

light is red

“go green… NOW”

still red

“go green… NOW”

still red

“go green… NOW”

turns green

my-face-when

    • sp3ctr4l
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      145 months ago

      Somehow I seem to be the only person I’ve ever met that knows that with a great majority of traffic lights, you can tell when your side is about to go green by watching the number or blinking pattern of the pedestrian crossings count down.

      Every person I’ve ever mentioned this to has responded as if I was either making up bullshit or some kind of genius.

      • @[email protected]
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        55 months ago

        Don’t tell people, just use it as proof of your clairvoyance and charge them for telling their future.

        • sp3ctr4l
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          5 months ago

          sigh

          I have done this as well a few times and quickly learned its a bad idea.

          Why?

          They expect me to have all kinds of magical powers and then act like I lied to them, like I was some kind intentional fraud, when I cannot do some completely unrelated prediction or timing that their brains think is equivalent.

          I have known far, far too many temperamental idiots in my life.

          Basically, if someone is really into astrology or identifies themselves as an empath, or is a chronic drug abuser, they all seem to be these kinds of people.

          • @[email protected]
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            25 months ago

            Just tell them proof of magical power comes at a steep cost because you prefer to keep some mystique so the government doesn’t come after you.

            • sp3ctr4l
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              15 months ago

              No…

              Again, I have known too many people like that, and they would absolutely work that into some grand paranoid delusion, lifelong psychotic episode, and ultimately do or say some immensely stupid things because of it.

  • @hoch
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    5 months ago

    My car has a little timer that tells you when the light will turn green

  • @Missmuffet
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    15 months ago

    Me walking up to automatic sliding doors: