This is basically the Mueller report all over again
DOJ: Oof, I really do not want to have to prosecute someone the Republicans like because they will make our lives hell in every single way, but this looks pretty bad… Ok, I’m just going to detail every single bad thing, but then just sum it up by saying the evidence doesn’t quite establish things beyond any reasonable doubt and everyone can see what they want here.
Media: DOJ MORE OR LESS FINDS ROGER STONE SENTENCING ALL GOOD
Me: … But, like four attorneys involved in this quit, and Bill Barr got personally involv-
GOP: Even the dad-gum librul media couldn’t find anything on Trump, yee-haw!
e; y’know sometimes you have to read a sentence after you wrote it several times even to realize it really needed a comma somewhere
But also, this is a ullegul bitch hunt by the communist dictator Joe AND HIS HO!!! It would never happen under Trump. Lock her up!!!
Joe AND HIS HO
We’re lucky the GOP doesn’t have you making their taglines
They’ve been using that for years.
I didn’t make that up, I got that from republicans I know.
“So nobody explicitly applied pressure, that we could find, although of course that kind of thing is by definition hard to find. We think that all that happened was that scattered individuals throughout our entire justice system, definitely including judges, prosecutors, bureaucrats who operate the machinery, and front line police who are tasked with enforcing the whole thing with violence on a day to day basis, think that one team should get preferential treatment and the system should treat their political opponents especially harshly, up to the limit of what will actually get them in trouble which is always changing and never in a good direction.”
“So… everything’s good! Carry on. Look forward to seeing you soon and you being able to resume your activities, Roger.”
Is he cosplaying Colonel Sanders?
Yess
“Sure, we have a victim with what looks exactly like a gunshot wound, but we couldn’t find a smoking gun, so we’re not gonna say he was shot.”
If the US were the most corrupt nation on earth we’d probably never find out. Or maybe we’d get one of those declassified documents 30 years after it happens hinting at something which was visibly obvious to the people paying attention.
