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Or precisely
He denies having sex with the couch and we can’t prove he did
Couch Fucker did in fact, fuck a couch.
Wait, did someone prove he didn’t?
No, but there’s also no evidence that JD vance fucked a couch. There are no eyewitness accounts of the hypothetical situation that JD vance stuck a latex glove between Teo couch cushions, lubed it up, and rammed it with his tiny dick as hard as he could.
Simply unfounded.
Who’s Teo?
But if I have to make up stories about JD Vance fucking couches to make the American media care about THE SUFFERING OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, that’s what I will do. Won’t somebody think of the suffering of the American people!