• @[email protected]OP
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      2 months ago

      Speeding down the street when the red lights flash

      Need to get away, need to make a dash

      A song comes on that reminds me of you and I

      Jizz in my pants

      • @athairmor
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        62 months ago

        Imagine the seizure of bliss and horror a carnival house of mirrors with evoke.

  • Rose Thorne(She/Her)
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    862 months ago

    I know this is just a “grass is always greener” because I am horridly burned out at my current gig and it’s only getting worse, but damn, I’m really sitting here on my lunch break going “Yeah, gathering fish jizz sounds a whole lot better than going back into this hellhole”.

    On the other hand, you probably need some marine life education to become the cuddlefish jizzmopper that I certainly lack.

  • @[email protected]
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    512 months ago

    I stare at a big, brightly lit rectangle and press little rectangles with my fingers.
    I get paid about $0.02 per rectangle press on average.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      342 months ago

      Do the rectangle presses have to form a sort of order? Or can you optimize your pressing by rolling your head on them until the day is over?

  • t�m
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    122 months ago

    Would he be considered into autoeroticism?

    • @[email protected]
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      252 months ago

      No, he isn’t smart enough to recognize himself in a mirror. He just ejaculates whenever he thinks he sees another scuttlefish, hoping it’s a female.

      • clif
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        132 months ago

        I don’t know if “scuttlefish” was intentional but I love it.

  • billwashere
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    72 months ago

    “It’s important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That’s why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.”