My wife has a chronic pain condition, and there were a bunch of years where it was just impossible for her to stand in the kitchen, so I did all the cooking for the family. I have this vivid memory of going to the grocery store after a demanding day at work, pushing my empty cart down aisle after aisle, and being so completely out of ideas that I started to cry. Even at the time I thought it was the most pathetic thing ever.

Your boyfriend’s fries. You want your boyfriend’s fries.

That must be my wife’s burner account