In April 2024 my girlfriend left me. After months of healing, I have by some luck built up a new circle of friends, in particular one romantic interest and one closest friend. I had effortless conversations with both of them all day long. Life actually felt fun again.
This week:
- My romantic interest started talking to other people and isn’t as available
- My closest friend has gotten busy in life and doesn’t want to spend their remaining time with me
There’s no "I’d like to talk you but"s, no "let’s make some time for a call next x"s. The writing is on the wall that I’ll fade out of their lives without them explicitly ejecting me.
What the fuck is this shit, why is it ALWAYS the other person who moves on and never me? At this point I am just fucking bitter. Yeah, I’m upset, and yes I should write this after a long walk when feel better, but damn. I just need to vent for once. I’m fucking sick of it.
I have zero close friends in my life except my siblings and myself.
be alone -> neet someone -> get attached -> they leave -> repeat
The rotating friendships and fading connections hurt the most when you find yourself without them. The conscious efforts we make are just as important and distinctive as others: with personal purpose and motive that we may not perceive as an outward party.
It’s worth taking a deep breath and acknowledging that other people might be going through their own doubts and “shit” and may not be communicating effectively their needs. Keeping communication open on a loose thread is difficult but good to keep if you truly care about them or wish to see them last part of your life. Inversely, knowing when to cut the thread is also important.
Do you have any hobbies or have any leagues or other sports around you? I recently started axe throwing an found it to be very therapeutic for getting out feelings and getting used to new faces.