The pharaoh probably called Moses ‘woke’.
Jesus, that woke bitch from Bethlehem. Shut up and make chairs!
I once smacked him and he turned the other cheek. I didn’t smack him again as he was clearly getting aroused from it. Sick weirdo
He also screamed at an out-of-season fig tree for not giving him any figs, immediately after which he hangrily overturned everything in the temple.
He also told me to drink his blood and eat his body. I said no thank you Jesus, I’m a vegetarian
Catholic version is even weirder, because he’s turning your food and drink into himself after the fact. You thought you’d had a nice cracker and some wine? Lol, you’re a literal cannibal.
It’s the really, really asshole version of licking your finger and touching someone’s food
I hate when my carpenters talk about politics
