It’s not feeling worth anything constantly trying to stay away from my thoughts while feeling so sad depressed I want to say all these things to someone and hope someone will care but my sadness is all mine to carry I know it I know feeling better is temporary it’ll fade off the moment I remember who I am I don’t want any expectations neither from myself nor from anything or anyone why isn’t the insect digging tiniest holes in the ground feeling bad about itself why is it just moving around without suffering this kind of meaninglessness why am I feeling it so bad but I still chose to stay alive I know killing myself is never a choice just cause I feel this isn’t good enough to give it all up I hope someday I just become like that insect unworried just waking up getting lost in some task until it’s time to fall asleep with no miseries and die sometime uncertain.
I’m in the same boat but physically.
I take a bunch of meds that require food but at the same time I’m too nauseated to eat. :(
I have to keep my blood sugars up, it’s dangerous to be on the meds otherwise, but Jesus just the thought of eating something sometimes makes me sick.
Last night I had a milkshake.
