Don’t. Even. Breathe.
Low oxygen. My blood pressure is rising. OMG CAN THEY HEAR MY HEART‽
Ear against the door.
Loud phone notification goes off in my pocket.
Just imagine, being stuck in small talk for as many as 5 minutes!
Stopping for 5 minutes would make me late to work.
I don’t want to have this conversation in any way. Why do social customs force me to endure it just because the other person feels the urge to talk?
Now I’m definitely on your side by temperament but my understanding is that they do this to try and build social bonding. (They don’t have the capacity or inclination to bond by infodumping about their special interest(s))
I think I’m gonna sleep with the lights on tonight.
It’s not small talk for 5 minutes. It’s “hey I gotta short question. Can you help me deorglefy the gnarflepoof I may or may not have installed on my computer or maybe my phone I can’t remember and now the power outlet won’t work anymore whenever I plug in my computer even when I register for the additional services with my ISP?”
When the neighbor looks like the one in the image, even five seconds is too much for me.
Story of my life. My neighbor trashes his place in rage every couple of years, then the police comes around and say they can’t offer any medical or psychological help when I tell them he is a good guy but needs help, but yeah, when he is trashing his place I have the golf club at hand and send my fam out the door. Our front doors are two steps apart.
He is not a bad guy, just needs help he is not getting. I try to avoid anyway, got my own mental problems.
No laundry today then.
