• @Suck_on_my_PresenceEnglish
    43•1 month ago

    We says to Meemaw when she awakens from the crypt down yonder that she can’t be out there tryna slay some ole dragon. We says, Meemaw, iff’n ya don’t starts to watch fer yer health, we’ll have ta get one o’ them immovable rod thingers and keep ye sat in her chair.

    • BigFigEnglish
      20•1 month ago

      She got et, can’t you read?

      • @Breadhax0rEnglish
        3•1 month ago

        Maybe she got run over and then et, roadkills good eatin

      • @P1k1eEnglish
        2•1 month ago

        You can say there’s probably no more treasuuuuure

    • @okwhateverdudeEnglish
      1•1 month ago

      …

      Riding through the village, Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Elminster,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe. 

Grandma got run over by a dragon
Walking home from the tavern, Christmas Eve.
(On her way home)
You can say there's no such thing as Elminster,
(Say there's no Elminster)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe) 

She'd been drinkin' too much ale,
And we'd begged her not to roam.
But she'd left her sword behind,
So she stumbled out into the snow. 

Grandma got run over by a dragon
Walking home from the tavern, Christmas Eve.
(On her way home)
You can say there's no such thing as Elminster,
(Say there's no Elminster)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe) 


Now we're all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' the dice roll,
Drinkin' ale and singin' with the halfling fell. 

It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the villagers are in shock.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we bury her treasure or give it to the clerk? 

Grandma got run over by a dragon
Walking home from the tavern, Christmas Eve.
(Midnight before Christmas)
You can say there's no such thing as Elminster,
(Say there's no Elminster)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe) 

Now the feast is on the table
And the meat pies made of turkey.
And a red and golden candle
That would have just matched the hair in grandma's curly wig. 

I've warned all my friends and comrades.
"Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a license,
To a dragon that breathes fire and smokes with elves." 

Grandma got run over by a dragon
Walking home from the tavern, Christmas Eve.
(Minding her own business)
You can say there's no such thing as Elminster,
(What do you mean there's no Elminster?)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe) 

Oh, As for me and Grandpa, we believe!
  • KillingTimeItselfEnglish
    15•1 month ago

    its always a furry with the best shitposts.

    Dont ask me why, i’m only good at shitposting.

    • Flying SquidOPEnglish
      2•1 month ago

      Squid don’t have fur! Jeez!

      • KillingTimeItselfEnglish
        3•1 month ago

        listen bro we put fur on dragons, it’s only a matter of time before it comes for you too!

  • @BenLeManEnglish
    5•1 month ago

    Let the darn woman rest in peace already! Y’all just hopin’ to keep mooching off her pension.

    • Flying SquidOPEnglish
      2•1 month ago

      That’s exactly how it sounded in my head.