Hey guys, China hacked our domestic spy infrastructure. We didn’t see this coming, like at all. Oops.

Turns out when you put a fucking back door in stuff so you can use it, eventually someone else finds it.

NSA spies on Americans

Chinese intelligence agency spies on NSA

NSA: “Wait, you aren’t supposed to do that”

No shit…they have been completely focused on technological and economic warfare and social engineering.

Does this mean they have all of my dick pics and vids?

And in a move not seen since Father Stone last visited Craggy Island, America said with a straight face and tone: “Okay.”

We need to get our shit together.

“Unlike some of the European countries where you might have a single telco, our networks are a hodgepodge of old networks. […] The big networks are combinations of a whole series of acquisitions, and you have equipment out there that’s so old it’s unpatchable.”

… I’m very confused by their stupidity. If it’s “too old to patch”, then get a new one, just like everyone else has to do with aging computers and phones. Yeah, it’s expensive, but you can afford it.

Edit: autocorrect. Autocorrect gets me a lot lol

Use encrypted messagers.

Fuck! That’s not good.

I wonder where the Chinese government got all that money to create technology to spy on America? Oh wait, it was the Americans spending all their money on goods imported from China.