I was with my grandma today. She’s old, over 70 years old. I love her to bits, but her age is really showing.

She’s slow, completely behind the times, everything hurts all the time… She’s still a sweetheart that cares for her family, but this is kind of freaking me out. I want her to live forever, but I can see that she really won’t.

I suppose all I can do is appreciate the time we still have together, and that’s what I intend to do.

Remember to talk to your loved ones!

  • @AtariDump
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    416 hours ago

    Start recording all your conversations and asking her about your family history.

    You’ll miss that when she’s gone.

    • gon [he]OPM
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      19 hours ago

      I don’t know about that… We have terrible relationships with basically everyone outside of my grandma and my grandpa, who’s already passed. I’ve never met basically anyone, and the ones I have all I’ve heard about them are things about how they stole or lied to us, or tried to kill my grandpa over property disputes, and how my grandma was stuck in court for decades over that, while my grandpa rot away in a hospital bed.

      Whenever my grandma talks about her childhood it’s always some of the most horrible things I’ve ever heard, all born of abject poverty, and how she cut ties with her family.

      So, on that side, we don’t really have a family history to speak of, other than brothers shooting each other and sisters stealing from each other.

      I’ll think about it though, I guess there’s always the chance I just never asked the right questions to hear something even remotely pleasant…

      • @AtariDump
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        16 hours ago

        I’ll think about it though, I guess there’s always the chance I just never asked the right questions to hear something even remotely pleasant…

        Even if it isn’t pleasant it’s her history and your family history.

        You won’t be able to ask these questions when she’s gone.

  • @johsny
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    924 hours ago

    Speaking s an old person, also remember that will be you one day, and sooner than you think. Enjoy life, it goes fast.

    • @[email protected]
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      623 hours ago

      Plus take care of yourself! My friends are hitting their 50s and family members approach their 60s through 80s. The difference between those ate relatively well and exercised and those who didn’t is massive.

      • gon [he]OPM
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        522 hours ago

        Massive? How much of a difference are we talking here? What do you see?

        • @[email protected]
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          21 hours ago

          So the number one reason people end in care facilities is because they can’t get off the toilet, or up from being on the floor.

          The stronger/healthier you are now (and maintain it), the less likely you will break a bone as you age.

          We store calcium in our bones until about age 30, when it starts to slow. I think by age 50,its really slowed to a crawl. As we age, we become less and less efficient at storing calcium due to hormonal changes, which leads to weaker bones - why older people break bones more easily.

          So build your muscles before age 40, as the strength of muscles impacts bone density (since they attach to bones, and the stress they induce at origin/insertion influences bone density). Trying to build muscle as you age gets more risky for because of this stress.

          Also improve your cardiovascular capacity now. Ira easier to do than when older, has long term health influence, and isn’t the risk of doing it when you’re older.

          Everything gets harder as we age. The more you improve conditioning now, the better tomorrow will be.

          • gon [he]OPM
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            222 hours ago

            OH!

            I try to do plenty of cardio by going on long brisk walks and cycling, but I guess I should also start looking into more actively muscle-building activities… I’ve been strongly considering it for a while now anyway, but this really seals the deal.

            Thanks for the reply!

        • @[email protected]
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          21 hours ago

          For example, take my aunts and uncles.

          I have two uncles and one aunt on one parent’s side. One uncle is nearing his late seventies but has always been active, doing rock climbing, hiking, kayaking, etc, and tends to eat well. He looks younger than people I’ve met in their sixties and some in their late fifties and is in better physical shape than many of my peers.

          The other uncle is five years younger and has had more physically active jobs over his life, but doesn’t really exercise recreationally. He looks older than his older brother and is rapidly declining physically with age, both in health and capability.

          My aunt is 11 years younger than her oldest brother and is worst off of all. She has always eaten poorly but never ran heavy (she has an eating disorder), didn’t exercise past her twenties, and made generally poor health decisions. She’s a wreck but is self sufficient despite looking and moving like a walking corpse.

          The other side of the family is pretty simple - they were descended from farmers but, despite no longer farming, continued to eat like they were. Of the three brothers, only my father made it past his fourties, the rest dying of cardiovascular diseases. He died of preventable illness in his early sixties but had been disabled for over twenty years. Of the four sisters, each has been on disabled for over thirty years from complications due to obesity and diabetes.

          So yeah, I exercise. I also have a heritable chronic illness, but that’s from the side with the fit uncle, and we ALL have it on that side. By moving around enough and not eating like shit, we’re doing better than the “normals” that are dead and disabled.

          Oh, and my mom looks easily ten years younger than her actual age and absolutely could kick my ass.

          • gon [he]OPM
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            321 hours ago

            Thanks for the reply!

            I see, I see… I can’t really say I see that too much, since I don’t have that many people in my life in advanced age to compare. From what you’re saying though, it seems to be a pretty clear causal relationship of healthy choices over a lifetime leading to better health in old age. Not exactly shocking, but it’s pretty crazy you can see it so clearly in your family.

            Oh, and my mom looks easily ten years younger than her actual age and absolutely could kick my ass.

            Well, don’t give her a reason!

    • gon [he]OPM
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      522 hours ago

      Good point. I’ve been improving my health recently, actually. I’m exercising more, taking better care of my teeth, eating better… Hope it’ll make a difference, not just in my life right now, but for the future me as well.

  • @[email protected]
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    623 hours ago

    Nothing you can do about the march of time. Enjoy your time with her and help her out when she needs help.

    • gon [he]OPM
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      422 hours ago

      Yeah, you’re right… I try to help her when and in what I can! I’ll have lunch with her tomorrow as well, really looking forward to it :D