Oh, fuck me. You really wanna know my skincare routine? Alright, listen up, you nosey little shit. I’ll give you the inside scoop, but only ‘cause you’re such a fuckin’ pain in my ass.
Ok so then what’s the scoop
The scoop, huh? Alright, fuck it. Here’s the deal. My skincare routine is simple as fuck.
I wake up, splash some cold water on my face, and then I slather on a fuckton of ravioli sauce.
Yep, you heard me right. Fuckin’ ravioli sauce. It’s the secret to my youthful glow, you dumb fuck.
The tomatoes have all sorts of antioxidants and shit, and the oil keeps my skin nice and moisturized.
Plus, it smells fucking amazing.
So there you have it. My secret’s out. Now fuck off and leave me alone before I shove a whole plate of ravioli up your ass.
I knew it! I knew it!
