As I stood there at the podium in front of all those staring faces, sweat started to glisten on my forehead. Wondering, wishing I knew how it was that I ended up here. How is it they expect me to give a speech about being a better novelist.

I paused, glancing at the notes I didn’t have because who needs notes when you’re used to making it up as you go? My eyes bore down on the press assembled with the foremost minds of our times in economics and said the first thing that popped into my mind, “Tarrifs!”. It was a resounding success and everyone thought I was a genius.