Maybe even auto laser-turrets for more epic-ness?

Since we have such a shitshow of a US government, can someone tell the new FAA person to add turrets to planes? Ya know, 'Murica 2nd Amendment and all… 👀

Surely, nothing will ever go wrong with this? Right?

  • @Arbiter
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    66 hours ago

    Why not just have a guy with a shotgun riding in a lawn chair bolted to the wing?

    • ERROR: Earth.exe has crashedOP
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      14 hours ago

      Well… they say “might makes right”

      Turns the key on the control panel in the nuclear missile silo

      And that the “end justifies the means”

      🚀🌇

  • @yesman
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    36 hours ago

    The intake of a jet engine can kill birds a dozen at a time. The exhaust can drive them extinct. A turret would be just showing off.

  • lurch (he/him)
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    7 hours ago

    I bet it’s much cheaper to just let people die in the occasional plane crash, than to add weight to each plane.

  • Chainweasel
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    9 hours ago

    The bullets that don’t hit the birds would rain down on populated areas.
    Bird strikes happen at lower altitudes and airliners fly much higher than birds unless they’re taking off or landing, and they almost always takeoff or land near a populated area.
    More people would die on average from stay bullets then from airplane crates caused my bird strikes

    • Em Adespoton
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      26 hours ago

      What’s the terminal velocity of a bullet? My guess is that it’s similar to the terminal velocity of a penny.

      In other words, raining bullets are highly unlikely to directly kill anyone (although they could still sting if they hit you, or chip your windshield).

      They could use ice bullets and solve that problem though….

      • @[email protected]
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        13 hours ago

        Terminal velocity is really only relevant for objects that go below terminal velocity and then start falling. Bullets famously come out of guns very fast, so fast they go into people.

        While air will slow the bullet down, tell that to the guy over over 2 miles away from Viacheslav Kovalskyi

        Now, bird shot ain’t sniper rounds, but the point stands.

        • Em Adespoton
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          112 minutes ago

          Bullets also famously come out of guns horizontally. As they travel, their horizontal speed decreases due to friction (slowly) and their horizontal speed accelerates until it hits terminal velocity.

          Now one point here is that the only place where you’d be shooting at birds is during takeoff and landing; this is near the ground, and in both cases, the aircraft is nose up — which means the bullet wouldn’t be traveling at height until it lost momentum and fell, but would instead follow an arc that would still likely preserve a lot of forward momentum as the bullet approached the surface of the earth.

          But it’s not falling bullets that are dangerous; it’s bullets moving forward with velocity that cause damage.

    • technomad
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      48 hours ago

      But, what’s your take on the lasers though? 🤔

      • Chainweasel
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        18 hours ago

        You’d need chemical lasers to quickly vaporize birds, but it could be done.

    • ERROR: Earth.exe has crashedOP
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      38 hours ago

      The bullets that don’t hit the birds would rain down on populated areas.

      So… just your average Fourth of July celebrations?

      🇺🇸🦅🎆💥🪦

  • @[email protected]
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    48 hours ago

    That would be cool. Boringly though, there are safer ways as well. Birds tend to be scared of loud bangs, so you could scare them away with just sounds.

    • @edgemaster72
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      7 hours ago

      So we shoot blanks at them to get the loud noise without having to be accurate or use live ammo, got it

    • @otacon239
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      38 hours ago

      “Passengers, please disregard the banging noises. That’s totally normal.”

    • @A_Union_of_Kobolds
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      39 hours ago

      Yeah, that one at Reagan was just especially tragic and in a wild week.

      Any repercussions of the gutting of the FAA and similar crap from the administration will likely take more time to become apparent, as the general air traffic control system becomes less regulated

  • @FourPacketsOfPeanuts
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    18 hours ago

    If anything like this was ever done it’s more likely it would be independent drones flying ahead of the plane at its 10 and 2 o’clock

      • Em Adespoton
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        16 hours ago

        You do if those drones lay down firepower to clear the airspace for the aircraft.

        And as a side benefit, the drones stay in the ATC zones where aircraft go through bird airspace, so you don’t have weapons on foreign planes AND you can shoot down anything else that makes it into the aircraft’s collision zone, like other drones, balloons or military helicopters.