I have not been professionally diagnosed as autistic, though I am awaiting the diagnostic process. I am wondering a bit about (what I think are) my autistic meltdowns, as they are almost the same as (what I think are) my panic attacks. People often call them panic attacks as well, also with no panic involved. In both cases I am shaking, hyperventilating, sweating more and some other things. As far as I remember my latest panic attack, I don’t think I was really craving having as few stimuli as possible and wasn’t crying either (both usually being the case with the autistic meltdowns).
So: how are your meltdowns like? How are they different from panic attacks for you?
I just internalize my meltdowns for the most part.
Is it healthy? No, but it was worked for me this far.
I basically just become mute and summon an uber to go home. In my head, the windows XP shutdown sound plays.
I get super warm and can’t take the sensory stuff anymore. I try to run away, and end up crying for some reason. Sometimes I hit myself or try to pull something apart.
Difficulty speaking, severe tension running through my shoulders, neck, and jaw. Fist clenching. A lot of rocking with some spastic shaking. Very similar to what you’ve described, save for the sweating.
Sometimes, I’m actually able to dissociate myself from them, so I can sit there and mentally call play-by-play while my body remains locked up and over-stimulated. That’s a bit of a wild ride.
Loud screaming and crying. Fist pounding on the table. Lots more crying.
Wow, I am unable to cry so I’m impressed when someone does it “easily”, does crying help to “let it out”?
Oh I don’t do it easily. That’s just when I have my big meltdowns. The small ones I can usually control until I am alone and can scream at the top of my lungs.
Honestly I wish I could do that. I struggle to show any emotion and when I have a melt down my face has a slight frown. Usually no one else knows there is a problem so it looks super weird in a social setting. I just push though and try to mask harder.
I too am in the process of getting a diagnosis. As for my meltdowns, I have two phases: Muting myself, or cussing everyone out loud, while I try to internalize the feeling of crying.
How old are you?
