A teen has been banned from Teesside play parks ahead of a trial for an alleged sex act involving a rocking horse and a branch.
Callum Green, 18, appeared before Teesside Magistrates’ Court on Monday afternoon where he pleaded not guilty to the common law charge of outraging public decency, in a Hartlepool play area.
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The charge reads: “You, in a public place committed an act outraging public decency by behaving in an indecent manner, namely inserting parts of a “rocking horse” inside yourself whilst masturbating, then pulled a branch off a tree and penetrated yourself.”
I’m so glad my teen years were before the internet.
I second that.
I’m glad I got most of my silly shit out of the way before camera phones took off. I wore a wedding dress about two months before a close friend got one. Those who were there have a treasured (and hilarious) memory, the image, however, won’t follow me around wherever I go.
Don’t worry, AI can fix that for you, so you have all your cherished memories…
No ta!
So how many inanimate objects did you fuck at the playground as a kid?
What I love, is nobody will know my teenage stuff-ups. My own private lessons were learned. I pity the kids nowadays. That kid has that over him for life.
They drop his full name. Every employer in the future will know. Every partner they have.
It’s irresponsible reporting in my mind, but, as I say, I’m glad I was that age before this mass broadcast to the world could happen.
I’m just playing, I’m totally there with you. I was the only person documenting anything in high school which is mostly good but yeah… Some not great stuff in there, too
We’ve all been young and stupid and done things we now regret, so… #checksNotes… oh, never mind.
When IKEA said ‘Insert Tab A into Slot B’, I don’t think that’s quite what they meant…
Won’t somebody think of the splinters?!
Was it a horse chestnut tree?
