Dealing with loss is different for everyone. You will hear of some people who can deal with things and move on quickly and you will hear of others who are never able to fully move on. No matter what loss will change your life and it can be almost like dealing with PTSD for some.

Personally I fall within the PTSD category, there are some days which are nothing but struggles to get through the day and most days I can feel the pain just under my skin so to speak. This is one of the reason why I don’t personally enjoy having pets. Every pet that I fall in love with ends up being a loss I will have to deal with at some point. I have lost many pets as a child and the pain is always great. As an adult I have not generally kept pets outside of an aquarium but have lost a son at nine days old and my wife of ten years passed away a few months before I started this subreddit. My wife and I ended up “adopting” a dog, I honestly did not want him because I knew eventually there would be the loss to deal with at some point. That time is soon approaching. Don’t get me wrong I love her dog and him being with me helped me get through the worst year of my life but some days it feels like I just lost my wife all over again because I know what is coming.

My wife’s dog Rascal has cancer. More than likely inoperable and in all honesty if it was operable I probably couldn’t afford to pay for it. Sure there is chemotherapy but subjecting a person who knows what is going on is bad enough IMHO, treating a pet who doesn’t understand why they feel awful is not something I can do. I worry about Rascal being in pain all the time and some days it’s a downward spiral into despair. I often think about not wanting him to be in pain, about having to have him put down, and how I am going to deal with it. I love him so very much and I am honestly sitting here in tears right now because it is so painful for me to think about but at the same time, I also want to help others who may feel the same way. That is why I started this community, to help others.

I don’t have all the answers, sadly. I wish I did so I didn’t have to feel this way but having someone who cares about you and supports you is one thing I feel is a true must if you do suffer as I do from loss. Planning things is another tool I use. Doing as much as you can to keep yourself busy helps as well. But overall you still have to deal with things or it will steadily eat you up inside. That is why I think having someone to talk to is probably one of the best tools you can have to deal with things and I am so very grateful for the person I have in my life to help me through the really bad days.

I truly hope that others who are dealing with loss can also get out there and find someone who helps bear the burden they have on their heart. I also hope that my tips are also helpful for others who are out there dealing with it.