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I’m just starting with writing, and it feels a bit cluttered. So any pointers would be appreciated!!! Thank you
Graf vision here. Good rhythm, the structure is musical. Succinct and quite evocative. I like it.
I would only question if you meant deliberate? And if you would like to go with adrifts or adrift?
deleted by creator
I like the imagery of a murmur coiled like a frail animal on the edge of something.
