Let’s pretend each country in the world is a guest at a party. What are they doing at the party?
It’s USA’s party and he’s trying to be the center of attention as usual. He acts like he’s not friends with Mexico but keeps buying drugs from him. Canada, USA’s nicer little brother is talking to all the other countries. Part of Canada is trans and wants to be like France. France is a little stuck up, but not that much. She only talks to USA about niche music genres and movies. Otherwise she doesn’t really like USA. England is drunk and trying to fuck all of his exes. Germany brought some really good beer and is a really nice guy, but no one forgets that he used to be an asswipe. Italy is refined but also a little unorganized. He is well dressed and good looking. On and off relationship with France. Thailand is a huge slut. Congolese guys are super well dressed. Spain isn’t talking to the other Spanish speaking guys except Argentina. Argentina only likes Spain because he’s cool with Italy. Ireland keeps trying to fight England, but otherwise is cool with everyone at the party. Ireland is very well liked but takes a swing a England whenever he can. Scotland is keeping the two separated but agrees that Ireland has a point. Russia is an asshole who will try to finger your asshole, but lies to you about it. Brazil is a little bit dangerous, but also sexy as hell. Her and Colombia won’t stop dancing. Somehow Colombia manages to sell drugs to Mexico while she’s dancing. Japan is cute, weird, and good at everything. Very nice person. Everyone has forgotten how they used to be an asswipe. Australia really likes bad haircuts. Also trying to fuck all of Englands exes. New Zealand is a wearing the same clothes as Australia, but maintains that it’s not Australia. Greece shouts a lot. Anything that you talk about they claim to have invented it. They’re not always wrong.
That was a fun read, thank you for helping start my day with a smile.
Belgium spends most of the party standing in the corner talking to himself. Arguing which cocktail to drink, only to settle on water near the end of the party.
Alternatively, they provide the beer.
America is the couple that’s having a wildly inappropriate argument to have in public, and asks nearby people “I bet JOHN agrees with me, right John?”
USA is swaggering around being an obnoxious douche, UK is his obsequious little bitch friend, Israel is one of their bratty kids having a tantrum.
New Zealand wasn’t invited.
