Caught in between burnout and (self-)neglect.
I end up not having the energy to focus on myself at all. But it really doesn’t help to know that.
I’m being like this for years lol. The only thing for now that helped me focus on myself is cannabis, but since I’m not a frequent user I try not to force myself to this route every time I use it, so it won’t become a chore
I’m sorry to hear that. Do take care of yourself, and do reach out.
I’d like to comfortably exist in a better place, maybe I could fit in an intentional community but that seems unlikely for a lot of reasons especially within the range that my legs could take me.
I feel you. I’m quite in that exact place myself.
I struggle doing the things I want to do bc I feel like my energy is sapped up just trying to survive day to day, it’s at least comforting to know there are other people who feel alien to our normative society
The worst part is being aware of how you can do it, and how you’re making things worse for yourself by not taking care of yourself, but still not being able to do it properly.
It’s like realising that something that might help your lack of energy is getting out and exercising, but it’s also something that you lack the energy for in the first place, or when you do have the energy, you go overboard, and end up overdoing things. Need to exercise to get the energy to exercise.
I can’t find the tweet, but I’ll paraphrase it.
Before you say you have depression, first ask yourself if you are:
getting enough exercise,
getting enough water,
getting enough sleep,
getting enough sunshine.
Because if you are having trouble with basic self care it usually indicates that you have depression.
I was only able to start doing these things again once my doctor and I found the right medicinal treatment, and it took many tries (and to be honest several doctors). I’ve had this shit off and on for decades. Sucks.
If you can afford to seek treatment, please do.