• atocci
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      611 year ago

      Thank you haha I was gonna say there’s no way it works like that

      • @[email protected]
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        461 year ago

        Article by “Hasan”

        Her first name is “Hillary”

        Her last name is “Wang”

        Obvious parody.

        The NSA does have all the pictures from your phone and probably your PC as well, though. And you’d be naive to think they can’t search by object, because I can do that shit on Amazon Photos. They don’t have a “dick” filter but how hard (giggity) would it be to make one? Just buy Chatroulette’s ML model for a start.

        • @bigdog_00
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          11 year ago

          Set up NextCloud, sync your photos to your own NextCloud server, and you’re good to go. The crazy thing is it’s becoming trivial for even a non-technical user to set everything up. Tail scale means there is no reason to put forward if you are just using it for personal use, and you literally just have to log into tail scale with your Google account on the server and your phone. You can run next cloud in a virtual machine with virtualBox, and that’s literally it. You don’t have to deal with updating, being stuck in PHP or dependency hell, none of that. Seriously, we are at such a crazy time in history where you can set up your own cloud infrastructure with an hour of work for even an non-technical user, and stop paying for iCloud photos or Google photos storage each month. It saves you money and improves your privacy

  • @[email protected]
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    1 year ago

    How did this take place? Her security clearance let’s her download pics from computers and mobile phones just like that?

    So they are admitting there are back doors in phones and operating systems?

    Doesn’t seem likely they would admit that much.

    • @[email protected]
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      311 year ago

      I mean, it’s been a well known fact that the NSA has been intercepting and logging all domestic internet/mobile traffic since Snowden. I bet there are over 16m dick pics sent in the US on a daily basis.

      • @[email protected]
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        81 year ago

        I know but I think the general public doesn’t know or understand this. It’s still not exactly admitted as a general thing how this works. Apple and other companies usually talk about how they are resisting to give out access etc.

        But yeah, nsa can probably access all windows and Mac systems. I don’t think Linux though. Not counting Intel Management Engine in the cpu.

        • @[email protected]
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          51 year ago

          Linux is where a lot of the actually interesting stuff is, so I highly doubt they don’t have a bag of exploits for that.

        • @PickTheStick
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          31 year ago

          I remember another story as well, where the journalist actually walked up the hill that blocked the view of the facility and saw the construction. It had about the same focus, but didn’t go into as much detail on the computing side of the NSA, just their storage capabilities.

          The knowledge that a government agency is recording everything is one of those existential horrors that slowly fades and just quietly lurks in your mind, hidden beneath the daily struggles and interests.

        • @SrElsewhere
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          1 year ago

          It predates your story by at least five years, 2007, when a Silicon Valley engineer revealed that a backbone line had been spliced and all traffic was passing to government machines.

          That revelation also inspired an outraged public backlash of ‘meh.’

      • @[email protected]
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        11 year ago

        Sad part is that it could be real these days. If they just used slightly less obvious language, so people are not certain what it means exactly. Microsoft and google are working with nsa of course, and Snowden showed that any nsa employee can look at anything.

  • newIdentity
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    341 year ago

    She was just doin’ NSA shit: training a AI so that every person can be identified with just a dick pic

    • @MotoAsh
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      91 year ago

      Yea, the real problem was making a Geoguessr like app where you have to name someone by their dick pic. All she had to do was keep the sausages in-house.

    • @affiliate
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      61 year ago

      don’t give sam altman any ideas

  • @[email protected]
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    291 year ago

    If she’s that into dick pics, let us know where they’re sending her and we can try and double that 16M. All printed and mailed to her. Imagine the state of the mail service at the prison when they have to sift through a thousand sacks of Polaroids every day.

  • @Baines
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    251 year ago

    so uh article, no outrage that this can even be done by the NSA?

    • Heresy_generator
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      1 year ago

      Well, no because the story is so obviously fake that no one but the most credulous of suckers could fall for it.

      • @Baines
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        121 year ago

        well I’ll admit to not really digging deep while taking a shit but is this a joke or not?

      • Bipta
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        101 year ago

        The only thing that makes this obviously fake is that it claims she downloaded them from people’s phones, rather than from some centralized NSA data store… And the idea an NSA employee would be held accountable publicly and cause bad PR.

      • @Baines
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        91 year ago

        I mean yea but this literally proves what people have been saying, that it would be super easy to abuse

        • Gullible
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          11 year ago

          It’s made headlines at least twice before, it’s nothing new. That said, I think this was written in jest.

        • @[email protected]
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          11 year ago

          John Oliver even did a thing on this, people don’t care about “metadata”, but ask them if they should be able to see your dick pics and people care a lot more

          Well, apparently they’re seeing your dick pics

    • @[email protected]
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      51 year ago

      I mean, it’s been well known that the NSA has been intercepting and logging all domestic internet and other telecommunication traffic for like a decade now.

  • Cyborganism
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    231 year ago

    She works at the NSA. She’s been collecting evidence about how many dick pics women receive all the time.

    • @kameecoding
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      111 year ago

      she just took home her work for the day

      • newIdentity
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        1 year ago

        In Germany that might be illegal

        But not because she takes work material home but because of employee rights

        • @MotoAsh
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          51 year ago

          Americans: Worker’s rights?! I dunno’, sounds like some kinda’ regulation-thingy, and we don’t like people forcin’ their thingies on us…

          • @[email protected]
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            41 year ago

            Only the Americans who have been brainwashed. The rest of us are desperately trying to undo the damage they’re causing.

            • @MotoAsh
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              51 year ago

              Yea, it’s just perpetually upsetting how many idiots think peoples’ struggles literally cannot be systemically caused. It’s always because someone didn’t work hard enough or is stupid, not because their boss failed to pay them a livable wage so they were SoL when the car broke down…

  • @[email protected]
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    1 year ago

    Holy shit, im reading this while listening to Bach cello suite 1 and it becomes surreal as fuck.

    Edit: Turns out this is fake news. But still funny as fuck.

    • @LordOfTheChia
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      51 year ago

      or surreptitiously retraining an image generation AI…

  • @SysWOW64
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    141 year ago

    theft of government property and classified materials

    wait… what

    • @sharun
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      21 year ago

      Interesting username

  • @[email protected]
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    1 year ago

    Ate the onion, which sucks because there are reported cases of employees spying/stalking exes and crushes

  • jimmydoreisalefty
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    121 year ago

    Funny how we can all go, “Yes, this is a possible thing”.

    NSA and gov’t have too much data on us withouy warrants and using 3rd party companies.

    Great post OP!