#CouchPeloton Remco’s statement on Instagram

WHAT WAS MEANT TO BE THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY SEASON TURNED INTO A DISAPPOINTMENT. THE TOUR DE FRANCE WAS MY BIG GOAL. AFTER MY CRASH IN DECEMBER, EVERYTHING I DID WAS WITH ONE CLEAR PURPOSE: TO BE READY IN TIME FOR JULY. THAT GOAL GAVE ME FOCUS, BUT IT ALSO CREATED A LOT OF TIME PRESSURE. THE WINTER MONTHS, NORMALLY THE PERIOD WHERE WE BUILD A SOLID BASE FOR THE SEASON, WERE TAKEN OVER BY REHAB AND RECOVERY. I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO BE PATIENT: I HAD TO HEAL. ONCE | WAS FINALLY CLEARED TO TRAIN AGAIN, EVERYTHING SUDDENLY MOVED FAST. IT BECAME A CONSTANT RUSH: A RUSH TO RETURN IN TIME FOR THE CLASSICS IN APRIL, A RUSH TO GET TO ALTITUDE, A RUSH TO BE READY FOR THE TOUR... I ALWAYS FELT LIKE I WAS PLAYING CATCH-UP. IN TRAINING, I NEVER QUITE FELT LIKE MYSELF: MY USUAL SENSATIONS WEREN'T THERE. BUT I KEPT BELIEVING. I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE UP ON THE DREAM. WE THOUGHT THE TIME OFF DURING REHAB HAD GIVEN ME ENOUGH REST. BUT IN REALITY, MY BODY NEVER TRULY HAD A BREAK, IT WAS STILL WORKING HARD TO HEAL FROM THE FRACTURES AND THE TRAUMA OF THE CRASH. LOOKING BACK, I WASN'T OVERTRAINED BUT I WAS DEFINITELY WORN OUT. I WAS RUNNING LOW BEFORE THE TOUR EVEN STARTED. AND THEN, JUST BEFORE THE TOUR, CAME ANOTHER CRASH. AT THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS, I BROKE A RIB AGAIN. NOT THE WORST BUT DEFINITELY NOT IDEAL. SO I LINED UP FOR THE HARDEST RACE IN THE WORLD WITH A BROKEN RIB AND A TIRED BODY. NOT THE BEST COMBINATION. BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO LET GO OF THE GOAL I HAD FOUGHT SO HARD FOR.
DESPITE IT ALL, I GAVE EVERYTHING. I MANAGED TO WIN A STAGE, WEAR THE WHITE JERSEY FOR SEVERAL DAYS AND STAND HIGH IN THE GC. THE FIRST WEEK WENT WELL, CONSIDERING EVERYTHING. BUT IN THE SECOND WEEK, THE PRICE OF ALL THOSE EFFORTS STARTED TO SHOW. I WAS HOLDING ON BUT I KNEW DEEP DOWN I WASN'T AT MY BEST. UNTIL FINALLY, MY BODY SAID “ENOUGH.” TWELVE DAYS IN, I CRACKED. EVERYTHING I HAD BEEN CARRYING FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH ME. BUT STILL, I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE UP. I FOUGHT AS HARD AS I POSSIBLY COULD. FOR YOU, MY FANS, I WANTED TO GIVE EVERY LAST BIT OF WHAT I HAD LEFT IN ME. BUT TWO DAYS LATER, I FELT COMPLETELY EMPTY. THAT'S WHEN I MADE THE DECISION TO STEP OFF THE BIKE AND ON TOP OF THAT, THE FIRST SIGNS OF AN INFECTION HAD JUST BEGUN TO APPEAR. WHAT STARTED AS A VAGUE DISCOMFORT SOON TURNED INTO FULL-BLOWN SINUSITIS IN THE DAYS THAT FOLLOWED. IT HIT ME HARD. THAT DAY BECAME ONE OF THE RAWEST AND MOST VULNERABLE MOMENTS OF MY CAREER. I BROKE AND STRANGELY ENOUGH, I'M PROUD OF IT. IT TAKES STRENGTH TO SHOW THAT THINGS DON’T ALWAYS GO YOUR WAY. THAT EVEN WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING DEEPLY, SOMETIMES YOUR BODY HAS OTHER PLANS. THAT MOMENT, AS HARD AS IT WAS, SHOWED THAT I'M HUMAN. WITH HIGHS AND WITH LOWS.
LEAVING THE TOUR WAS THE HARDEST DECISION I'VE MADE IN A LONG TIME. BUT IT WAS THE RIGHT ONE. FOR ONCE, I TRULY LISTENED TO MY BODY. AND I HOPE THAT MOMENT SENDS A MESSAGE, ESPECIALLY TO THE YOUNG RIDERS WATCHING: IT’S OKAY TO STOP. IT’S OKAY TO FEEL TIRED. IT’S OKAY TO BE HUMAN. SOMETIMES STEPPING BACK IS THE STRONGEST THING YOU CAN DO. NOW, I'M TAKING TIME TO REST AND RECOVER FOR A WHILE. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT. IT MEANS MORE THAN YOU KNOW. REMCO

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