Since I became a father some 5.5 years ago, I’ve realised that I’ve rather quickly turned into the sort of person who tells my children that ‘silly games, silly prizes’ and ‘want doesn’t mean get’.

I’m not sure I can pinpoint the exact moment this change occurred, but it did, and now I guess I’m stuck in this hell. The question is, am I stuck in it on my own, or are there more of us?

  • @[email protected]
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    121 year ago

    When unable to use profanity or shout, your brain undergoes a process of collapsing and reconstructing itself. This phenomenon arises as a natural outcome of the synapses rewiring within your brain.

  • angelsomething
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    91 year ago

    I use the word potato to describe when they’re doing something stupid. “Stop being a potato” “you potato” etc. the tone is always affectionate and I’m not calling them stupid to their face which help their morale but makes dinners involving potato dishes rather awkward and funny.

    • SbisasCostlyTurnoverOP
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      41 year ago

      You’re already ahead of me. I can’t get either of my kids into potatoes. Which is crazy to me, because I’m of the opinion that Potato is the single greatest food every discovered.

  • @bazus1
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    71 year ago

    Since my kids are old enough, I have a habit of saying in a sing-songy voice, “sounds like a google search to meeee”.

    There’s also:
    You get what you get and you don’t get upset.
    Move your meat, lose your seat.

    • @Bak
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      31 year ago

      I honestly hate it when I ask something to somebody I know knows the answer and they tell you to Google it

      • @bazus1
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        21 year ago

        Me too, but I’m talkin’ about stuff here like, ‘who was Kida’s voice actress in Atlantis: The Lost Empire’ or ‘Which Power Puff Girls episode had the space alien broccoli dudes’

        • @Bak
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          11 year ago

          Lol! That’s very fair

          • @bazus1
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            11 year ago

            It’s cute, because now, years later, it’s almost a competition in the family chat as to who can google the answer to a factoid that comes up the fastest.

  • @CADmonkey
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    31 year ago

    Lately it’s been “Is something happening right now? Is there something you should pay attention to, because it’s going to affect you directly and immediately?”

    My kid tends to space out, which is fine, but worse they space out when they really need to be paying attention to their surroundings.

  • @fizgig420
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    31 year ago

    If “ifs” and “buts” were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas…

  • Hossenfeffer
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    31 year ago

    Too many to mention but one of my favourites is ‘what are you doing and why and stop it!’