Excerpt:
Remnants of Broken Souls: Chapter 7
Senselessness
The sun shines high overhead. People calmly return to their routines, and little by little public spaces begin to empty—though a few always remain.
What the hell was that? Since when do I act like this?
Still… it brings back good memories. That’s how we used to get along, I think. I never really spent much time around women; I was shy. But I suppose my last relationship at least taught me a thing or two—not everything was a loss.
Erina was… what was she, really? I barely think she was more than a friend to me. We talked from time to time, and sometimes she avoided me—or was I the one doing the avoiding? I’m not sure. I don’t even know why. Back then my head was somewhere else. I never bothered looking for anyone, for anything. I had my own problems, and I didn’t want anyone else to have to deal with them.
The walk continues in calm silence, each of them sunk in their own thoughts, as if both are searching for what they’ll say when the moment comes.
Well, I suppose I can’t blame myself for still getting a little nervous around Erina. She’s cute, after all. And it still surprises me that she doesn’t have a partner—or maybe she does and prefers to keep it to herself. I hope not. I’d feel bad inviting out a girl who already has a boyfriend. That would be awkward.
Alright. I’m overthinking it. We’ve barely reconnected. I don’t need to imagine or question so many things. I invited her because I wanted to talk, to catch up. Besides…
No one is waiting for me there.
“—We’re here!”
“—Wait, did you know we were coming here?”
“—Well, yeah. There’s no other place to eat nearby. And besides, you brought me here once, a long time ago.”
“—Oh… yeah, you’re right. But I guess—does it bother you?”
“—Pfft, of course not. Food is food. Let’s go!”
Aiden nods, a satisfied smile crossing his face.
They both enter the place. The doors are solid wood, quite heavy, scraping loudly against the floor as they open.
The years weigh on the restaurant. The tables, the floor, the walls—everything is worn by time, yet still standing firm, proof of a quality far superior to what’s made today.
“—It’s pretty empty…” Erina says, scanning the tables.
“—Yeah. Lunch hour’s already passed.”
“—Oh, right. Well, come on, let’s find a place.”
“—Alright.”
Aiden lets her lead as they walk through the restaurant. There’s a faint smell of fried food in the air; it seems an order is being prepared.
They sit at a table for two, next to a wall with a mirror hanging on it. Aiden sets his box on the extra chair.
“—I like this place. See? A mirror right next to us, so I can check myself properly,” she says, fixing her hair a little.
“—Heh. And what’s the big deal? This was all improvised.”
“—Yep, but still—even if it’s unexpected, that’s no excuse to look sloppy.”
“—You don’t look sloppy. Though, honestly, I don’t even know what I look like. I haven’t checked since I left home.”
“—Well, voilà, here’s the solution,” Erina says, stretching her arms toward the mirror, presenting it.
“—Meh, no need. If there were something wrong with my face, you’d have told me already,” he says without even turning to look.
“—Maybe I’m just being nice. Maybe you’ve got a monkey on your face. Who knows? I’m just saying…”
“—Hmm. I’ll trust that you’re a good person and that you’d tell me.”
“—Fair enough. As you wish.”
Just as Erina finishes speaking, a waiter approaches and takes their order—food and drinks. Aiden asks for apple juice; Erina orders peach.
“—I thought you’d order something alcoholic,” Aiden says, making air quotes with his fingers. “You know, to enjoy your ‘adulthood.’”
“—What do you mean? I don’t drink alcohol. I don’t like soda either—it hurts my tongue.”
“—Wow. So delicate…”
“—And what about you? You look like someone who drinks,” she says with a mischievous smile.
“—Drunk? Don’t be ridiculous. I despise alcohol. And I don’t really like soda either—the bubbles give me a false sense of fullness and make me eat less.”
“—And what, you don’t smoke either?”
“—No. I deal with my problems. I don’t hide them behind placebos.”
“—Oh wow, so deep. Well, me neither. I just don’t like it.”
The waiter returns with their drinks and cutlery, napkins, and condiments.
Once he leaves, Aiden drinks half his juice.
“—Looks like you were thirsty.”
“—Ahh, yeah.”
A short silence settles between them. Aiden looks around while Erina lowers her head slightly and plays with the fingers on her glass.
“—Hey… can I ask you something?” Erina breaks the silence.
Aiden nods.
“—That time, when they were handing out our diplomas… I saw everyone talking with friends, saying goodbye. Some were even crying. But when the ceremony ended, I couldn’t find you.”
“—You were looking for me?”
“—I mean… I saw you during the ceremony, but when it ended, I thought something had happened to you. Especially since we lost contact after that.”
“—Yeah. But it wasn’t just you—it was everyone. I didn’t care to stay, so I left. That’s all.”
“—And have you talked to any of your friends since?”
“—Hmm. Not really. A year ago I ran into one on the street, but that was it.”
“—Seriously? Just that? I mean, I still hang out with some girls now and then. Why don’t you?”
“—Look, I’m not going to lie to you…”
“—…”
Aiden takes a sip of his juice.
“—…”
“—…”
“—Pfff—” Erina holds back her laughter, getting the joke.
“—Alright, I won’t pry. But I still want to know why you didn’t keep in touch with me. We were friends, weren’t we?”
“—I guess.”
“—Then why did you never reach out?”
“—Why didn’t you reach out?”
“—H-hey, I asked first.”
“—You’ve already asked enough.”
“—Fine! Fine. I just thought you didn’t like me, that’s all,” Erina says, looking away.
“—That’s stupid.”
“—Hey! Then what about you?”
“—Honestly? The exact same thing happened to me.”
“—That…?”
“—Well… it seems we were both idiots.”
“—I guess so—”
A shadow carefully approaches the table, drawing both their attention.
“—Sorry to interrupt. Here are your orders.”
The soft clatter of ceramic plates against the table brings them back to the present. Neither had noticed the waiter approaching.
“—Oh! It looks good,” Erina says, picking up her cutlery.
It looks just like before.
“—What’s wrong? Didn’t you like what you ordered?”
“—It’s not that. Actually…” He takes a small bite with his fork and brings it to his mouth. “—It’s just how I remembered it.”
“—That’s good.”
“—And yours?”
Erina chews. “—It’s good.”
Aiden nods and keeps eating.
I’ve always felt it shouldn’t have ended like that. Maybe I only made friends because of circumstance—but maybe they didn’t see it that way, just like Erina said. Could things have been different if I’d taken a step forward?
I don’t know. It’s not that serious. It’s just…
I just wish things were simpler…
Damn, this is good…
“—Hey, I just realized—what’s in the box? It looks like a cake box.”
Aiden swallows.
“—Uh, yeah. It’s something I was asked to pick up. It’s nothing.”
“—Oh, I see.”
They continue eating without interruption. Both enjoy their food and drinks, though the silence, for some reason, feels loud.
“—Excuse me,” Aiden says, wiping his lips with a napkin as he stands. “I need to use the bathroom.”
“—Hmm?” Erina looks up. “—Mmh hm,” she murmurs with her mouth full, nodding.
Aiden walks calmly, scanning the place for the restroom. It doesn’t take long to find it.
What time is it already? I think I’m running a bit late. I was supposed to be home about thirty minutes ago…
Well, nothing will happen. It’s my birthday, after all—I should spend it however I want. I can explain later. Or make up an excuse. I don’t know.
I don’t want congratulations. I don’t want Erina to find out and turn this into another celebration. We’re just spending time together, talking, catching up. Not everything has to revolve around me—or rather, I don’t want it to revolve around me at all.
Once he finishes his “business,” he goes to the sink and tries to use the soap dispenser.
Almost empty. Damn it…
He opens the plastic lid and scoops out what little liquid soap remains with his fingers.
Yeah. That works.
He puts the container back, rinses his hands, dries them with some paper towels, tosses them in the trash, and leaves.
“—I’m back.”
“—A-Aiden, that was fast.”
“—What did you expect?” He notices Erina looks a little flustered. “—What did you do?”
“—W-what do you mean?”
Aiden narrows his eyes at her as he sits back down.
“—If you wanted to try my dish, you could’ve just asked.”
“—W-what? Oh—yeah, that. It just caught my attention. Sorry.”
“—It’s fine. Later your parents complain that you don’t eat properly. By the way, how are they?”
“—Fine. I think. I haven’t gone to see them in a long time—the trip back is really long.”
“—How long?”
“—About eight or nine hundred kilometers.”
“—Shit. And why did you come to study so far away?”
“—Well, when I was attending our school, I came to live with my father at my uncles’ place. No one objected, since the school was supposedly good.”
“—Was it boring back home?”
“—I think so. I didn’t have many friends, and there wasn’t much to do in that town. When university started, my father went back home and I stayed here. They send me money from time to time to cover some expenses, and I handle the rest.”
“—Do you regret it?”
“—R-regret it? Regret what?”
“—I don’t know. You seemed a little sad.”
Erina’s eyes widen.
“—Sorry. It’s just… the feeling was familiar. I noticed it when you were talking. It’s not like you were making faces or anything.”
“—Um… honestly, I don’t know.”
“—You don’t know—?”
Barking.
Outside, in the back of the restaurant, a dog is barking incessantly—so loud it forces them to stop talking.
“—H-hey! Shut your mouth!”
Someone leans outside and yells at the dog. After a sharp cry, the barking stops.
“—Sounds like he hit it,” Aiden says.
“—I think so. It was probably fighting with something.”
Aiden keeps staring toward the door where the employee went out.
That asshole. There was no need for that.
Now that I pay attention… it’s not the only one barking…
Ah—right. Don’t make this awkward. Let’s get back to it.
“—S-so, um…”
“—Yeah… that. It doesn’t matter. Tell me—what is it that you don’t know?”
“—This… about what?”
“—You were telling me about moving here. Do you regret something?”
“—I think so… It’s not that I mind living alone. It’s just that I feel there could’ve been another option. Maybe I was selfish for wanting to stay here instead of looking for a closer university.”
“—I get it. But I also know the nearest university back there is absolute trash.”
“—I know. It’s just that… I haven’t even thanked them properly.”
“—Properly? Are you doing badly?”
“—W-what? Of course not. My grades are really good.”
“—Then you are meeting their expectations. You should think more from their perspective. Maybe they sent you here knowing they wouldn’t see you much—but perhaps, for them, your education was the priority.”
Erina lowers her gaze, playing with the fork in her hand.
“—The fact that you keep pushing forward despite all the difficulties, and still do well in your studies, is more than enough proof of your gratitude. You just need to call them once in a while—tell them how you’re doing, how your grades are.”
“—I think… maybe you’re right…”
“—See? Sometimes it’s hard to spend so much time tearing yourself apart over what you should or shouldn’t do. But something that’s helped me is simply putting myself in the other person’s place and trying to reach the conclusions I’m looking for. They’re not definitive solutions, but they’re a lot better than tormenting yourself over something you can’t fix.”
Erina doesn’t answer. Her gaze drifts between her plate and Aiden.
“—I’ve also—”
Tshhh!
Something interrupts Aiden. From outside comes a loud metallic crash—like an accident.
Dogs begin barking intensely, including the one locked in the yard.
“—What was that?” Erina asks, starting to stand.
Aiden watches her, then gets up to follow.
Outside, two cars have collided. There’s a line of vehicles stuck behind them. People are arguing, horns blaring—and there are the “culprits.”
“—It wasn’t my fault! Can’t you see those damn dogs wouldn’t stop digging?! They wouldn’t move!”
Amid the shouting, Aiden looks toward the center of the crash. Crushed dogs lie there. They seem to have died instantly, but—
“—Erina, look. Those dogs over there are digging too—and others—”
Fuck.
A sharp pain pierces Aiden’s chest, like a needle driven straight into his heart.
What the hell…?
It’s… it’s fading…
“—What happened?” Erina asks, having noticed the flash of pain on Aiden’s face.
“—N-nothing. It’s nothing. I was saying the rest of the dogs are digging… but the two that were run over were trying to dig through concrete.”
“—Oh no…”
“—They tore their damn claws off.”
“—What’s going to happen to them?”
“—Let me check something…”
He walks to a small, high window that looks out onto the restaurant’s yard. And there it is.
“—That dog’s scratching the fucking concrete too… disgusting…” Aiden mutters, grimacing. “—And it’s barking like it’s being killed…”
“—What’s going on? What do you see?” Erina asks, approaching him from behind. “—Is something wrong? I can’t see.”
“—N-no. There’s nothing.”
What the hell is happening…?
My chest still hurts…
“—Aiden?”
Something tells me I should run. Get out of here. I don’t understand it.
“—Aiden!”
“—Yeah. Sorry. We should leave.”
“—Why?”
“—I don’t know. Let’s just go,” he says, taking her hand and guiding her outside.
“—W-wait! What about the food?”
Aiden quickly pulls out a couple of bills and keeps walking.
The table is left behind: one empty plate, the other half-eaten. Payment for a meal never fully enjoyed. And a forgotten cake box on a chair.
Whatever is happening, this is only the beginning…
… "
–Continue reading in its original Castilian language at fictograma.com–