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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway629037 on 2023-06-23 19:25:44+00:00.

My (22F) best friend Jenny (23F) just recently had a baby with her husband Tom (25M). My boyfriend and I got to meet their baby boy for the first time last weekend when they came over to our flat for dinner.

We have a hot tub on our balcony that my parents gave us for Christmas last year and I had told them to bring swimwear so we could go in after dinner.

My boyfriend wasn’t up for it, so he held the baby while us three got ready to get in the tub. Jenny was the last person to get changed and came out of the bathroom in a bikini.

I thought she looked amazing, really happy and glowing, but Tom kind of laughed and said something about her still having some weight to lose before she’d be as attractive as she was before her pregnancy.

I was a bit stunned by that comment and even though Jenny didn’t say anything, her smile disappeared and she looked obviously uncomfortable. She and I had talked about her struggling with weight gain during her pregnancy and I thought Tom’s comment was more than insensitive.

I got angry, because I started wondering what he might be saying to her in private if he was comfortable dropping lines like that in front of other people, so I responded with: “She just had a baby. What’s your excuse?”

The dude has a hefty beer belly and a double chin but thinks he can joke about a new mom’s weight?

He got really defensive and told me that I need to learn how to take a joke before stomping off to the hot tub. Jenny chuckled at my comment and I thought that was that, but when they left for the night, Tom pulled me aside and told me to keep my nose out of other people’s business.

I don’t think I was entirely in the wrong but my boyfriend told me I shouldn’t have reacted at all because it really wasn’t my business and I think Tom’s reaction speaks for itself and it makes me wonder whether I might’ve been the AH in that situation.

EDIT: fixed a typo