I think there’s more going on! Given a blank slate question like, “Why did the car get stolen?” or “Why did the house get broken in to?” people will think of anything else but that there was a car thief or burglar. It makes us feel safer to think that the cause doesn’t lie entirely with the perpetrator. We live in a fundamentally unknowable, unpredictable, uncaring world of potential monsters and horrors, but people don’t enjoy being reminded of that fact. Humans favor delusion because we can’t handle reality. You’re right that it is about control but I think it originates in a pervasive need for a sense of control over reality/experience.
It’s time for one of my favorite quotes, no idea where I heard it though
She’s not dressed like a slut, you think like a rapist
So many things have fallen in place for me.
But sometimes I want to dress like a slut and that’s still not asking to be raped
I hate how normalized victim blaming for sexual assault is. It’s all around us and it takes effort to reject it
Ukraine: tell me about it.
Ukraine gets blamed for sexual assault?
No, Ukraine gets scapegoated.
Yup. Including from other women, and ourselves sometimes.
I had chalked up a nice big pile of things as my “early sexual exploits” - given the reaccion of everyone I’d ever told about any of it, it was my doing and I must have enjoyed it … depending on the listener, that was either a good thing or a bad thing. And I took that on board.
The first time I was told “no, you were raped” was when I was 32. Funnily enough that conversation is still harder to talk about than what actually happened. Brains are weird like that, I guess.
Reminds me of the What Were You Wearing exhibit
The creators, Jen Brockman and Mary Wyandt-Hiebert, are longtime educators and advocates for survivors of sexual and relationship violence. In May 2013, while attending a training session, they encountered Simmerling’s poem What I Was Wearing. The poem describes Simmerling’s experience of rape in the summer of 1987 and the deeply ingrained memory of what she was wearing that night. It ends with the line, “I remember also what he was wearing that night even though it’s true that no one has ever asked.”[3] Moved by the poem’s stark testimony, Brockman and Wyandt-Hiebert began developing a visual response to the question it addresses. They obtained Simmerling’s permission to use her poem that summer, and the first exhibit opened in April 2014 at the University of Arkansas during Sexual Assault Awareness Month.[4]
Wyandt-Hiebert and Brockman began collecting stories from student survivors at the University of Arkansas, inviting them to share what they were wearing at the time of their assaults. As they worked to recreate those outfits, the goal was not to recreate trauma but to reclaim space for survivors and challenge the enduring myths that shield perpetrators and silence victims.[1]
The creators emphasized that the clothes displayed were intentionally ordinary—jeans, sweatshirts, t-shirts, uniforms, dresses—chosen not for shock value but to reveal how unremarkable the clothing often was. As Brockman explained, the aim was to expose the rape myth that changing one’s clothes can prevent sexual assault and to create a space where survivors might recognize themselves in the installation and know they are not alone.[5]
Different experiences of sexual violence are represented, including assaults experienced by people of various ages, genders, backgrounds, and professions. The installation was conceived not just as an educational display but as an act of solidarity with survivors.
I remember that! The worst for me was the nappy. Someone had been wearing a nappy when it happened. It’s devastating
i always think of this when someone talks about modesty or purity.
It’s astonishing how normalized it is to blame victims even to this day.
The fault is always with the perpetrator. Always.
There’s no amount of flirting, suggestion, chats, clothing, nothing that justifies it. Not even if the victim had been promiscuous.
Always seemed pretty simple to me, but some people really struggle with this.
That was a powerful exhibit.
Reminds me of a time I watched a trial on cspan, or something, where the defence(a man) brought up the fact that the victim wasn’t wearing underwear, so the prosecutor(a woman) had to explain “underwear lines” to the court.
It was so absurd and so unnecessary to even indulge the idea that someone who doesn’t wear underwear wants to fuck anyone and everyone.
She’s hot
Excuse me, what the actual fuck?
Yeah, I think that’s what they had in mind.
It’s not funny to joke about sex on a post about rape.
Holy shit, this post is about to be brigaded by salty men, isn’t it?
It’s been a whole day and a half since the last one so I’d say we’re due.
I wish lemmy had an “only subscribers can comment” button on coms. We’d still get brigaded, but with less rando reply guys and more men who hate us for our bodies and minds.
I had hoped this post in particular would be largely ignored since it’s such a sensitive topic.
I was wrong :(
