It’s totally possible to bite your nails so that they are nice and have smooth edges, just like an infinite number of monkeys with typewriters could theoretically write all sorts of fancy literature if only we wait long enough. All I have to do is bite off an infinite number of bits!

Update: I’ve accidentally scratched all the works of Shakespeare on my bf’s back, why is he mad?

Hey look, it’s my spouse!

I have to threaten to tape oven mitts to their arms to keep from scratching.

They’ve even been scratching at small irregularities in their sleep.

The path to smooth skin is paved in scabs and pressure washed with blood.

Must be pure