My dad ate my birthday cake
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/CloudySide7
Originally posted to r/TwoXChromosomes Thank you Redditor u/choice_evidence1983 for putting this together
My dad ate my birthday cake
Thanks to u/BakingGiraffeBakes & u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings:
Tap for TW
controlling behavior, theft, misogyny
Original Post: June 25, 2026
I’ve been seeing a lot of videos online about how men will weaponize food and how it’s seen as acceptable for men to eat up a lot of food even if it means other people won’t get any of it. That same situation happens a lot with my dad, but I guess I had assumed that since it was my birthday I’d get some of my birthday cake. This happened about two weeks ago but I’m still pissed off and really upset about it.
I made a birthday cake for my birthday which was two weeks ago. I had one slice of my cake the day of my birthday. Within 2-3 days the cake was gone. My dad ate almost the entire cake and left the empty container in the fridge. I had told him several times to slow down and even bluntly to stop eating it because he was going back for multiple slices a day. It was also in the fridge and later freezer, so it would’ve go bad. I was pretty upset about it and tried to complain about it to my mom, but she yelled at me that I was a bad person for “tempting him” and that it was rude abs cruel of me to leave food in the fridge and not expect people to eat it. I never said he couldn’t have cake, I just wanted to have MY birthday cake.
I don’t know what exactly it is I’m feeling about this whole thing. Sadness and rage I guess? I feel like I should be over it, but I keep getting reminded that I only got one small slice of my birthday cake before a grown man ate the entire rest of it. And it was a really good cake too. Sigh. I know I could just make another cake, but I’m still upset that I’ll never get back it being my birthday cake, does that even make sense? I guess it’s also the concept that I told him to stop and he still ate the cake. Also that he left the empty container in the fridge. Also it was a fairly big cake. It’s not something that should have been gone in 2-3 days consider it’s just me and my parents.
Guess I’m just venting but also wondering why is it acceptable for men to do this to their families but women are the bad guys for getting upset about it? Why is that it’s okay for a man to eat almost his daughter’s entire birthday cake but she’s the rude one for being upset about it?
ETA: The reason I didn’t eat cake in those 2-3 days is because I was constantly out of the house and doing stuff. I went to get a piece on the evening of the 3rd day and saw the empty container in the fridge. The pieces I had put in the freezer were gone when I checked as well. There was none left. I didn’t think I needed for force myself to eat the cake those days because I kept seeing the container in the fridge
ETA 2: To everyone saying cake goes bad after 2-3 days, the cake was in a container in the fridge. That makes it lasts longer, and a simple Google search will tell you that generally speaking cakes can last 5-7 days if stored properly. It was literally in a cake container (the kind they sell to keep cakes fresh longer)
ETA 3: I know I literally said it was a bit of a trend to see these stories posted around, but I’m actually still shocked about how many people have either a very similar or the exact same situation happen to them. And I will say I know it’s not all men, I have a primarily male friend group, so I definitely know that majority of men are not like this. I was more so saying that this specific mentality only seems to be present in men and that I never see women doing this. It’s not all men but it always seems to be a man.
Editor’s note: OOP has made lots of responses, I am listing some for more context that were not mentioned in the original post
Relevant Comments
OOP on the birthday tradition and cake
OOP:
My dad loved ice cream cake. I loathed ice cream cake.
Honestly my entire birthday was just this. I wanted a chocolate pistachio cake, he didn’t. I ended up getting a vanilla cake which he wanted. I didn’t want any ice cream this year and he complained, then went out and bought himself an entire tub of sherbet so he could have ice cream since I “didn’t get any for him”.
In my family the birthday person picks a place to eat on their birthday. I wanted Indian food. My dad hates Indian food so that was out. I wanted Middle Eastern food as my second pick, he didn’t so that was now out. Eventually I said let’s go to Cheesecake Factory, which he agreed to but then complained about the whole time.
In my family birthday person also picks a movie and the family is supposed to all go see it. I picked Backrooms. He didn’t want to see it and since I refused to budge he said he didn’t want to come along so I ended up seeing it by myself
Commenter 2: It’s also a bit telling of your parents’ attitude toward you that you had to bake your own birthday cake.
OOP: I had just wanted to buy a cake already made but both of them threw a stink about it. My dad threw a fit because he didn’t like the kind of cake I originally wanted, and my mom threw a fit because she doesn’t like how store bought cake tastes. So I just changed the flavor and made it myself to try and keep the peace
Commenter 3: The putting back the empty container baffles me. How old are your parents?
As a mom, I’d never eat all of something before checking if everyone else had their share. I know my husband does the same. It’s very upsetting when you are looking forward to food and later find that you can’t have it because someone else ate it or even threw it away without asking you first.
You’re not just upset about the cake but the inconsiderateness of all of it. Don’t feel bad for not “getting over it” because it’s not just about the cake but the idea that your dad didn’t even think about your feelings when he ate all of it knowing he had multiple slices and proceeded to take the LAST one and leave the container for you to find.
I’m so sorry. I hope he has the decency to buy you a new one. Or take you out to get a special slice at a nice bakery. Please know that you deserve to be treated with consideration, and I hope you have people in your life that will do that for you, even if they are people you haven’t met yet but will be part of your life in the future.
OOP:
How old are your parents?
Both are elder Gen X born in the early 1970s
your dad didn’t even think about your feelings when he ate all of it knowing he had multiple slices and proceeded to take the LAST one and leave the container for you to find.
He left a bunch of frosting in the container, so I was literally digging through it to see if there was any actual cake left and he yelled at me for that.
I hope he has the decency to buy you a new one. Or take you out to get a special slice at a nice bakery.
They won’t. Neither of my parents will because they both say I’m being a greedy brat for being upset about this
Commenter 4: Sounds like you need your own fridge with a padlock
I had the same issue as my dad because men don’t fucking think, they just go by their base emotions, in this case I see food I eat food.
I talked to my dad and raised a stink and he stopped, if yours won’t then a mini fridge is a good options
OOP: I asked for a mini fridge, but my parents said no, sadly. I’m only here for the summer since I go to college the rest of year.
I’ve tried to talk to him about this. I’ve been polite, I’ve been firm, hell I’ve actually been mean about it just to try and get my point across, but he always screams at me and then gets my mom to lecture me about “making a big deal out of nothing” and “tempting him with food”
OOP on her father and her birthday cake
OOP: He actually didn’t even bother to show up for when I did blow out my candles😭 Didn’t want to sing happy birthday or watch me blow out my candles but could show up to eat my entire cake
Commenter 5: I’m sorry, HE DIDN’T LIKE THE KIND OF CAKE YOU WANTED… on YOUR birthday.
I don’t know if this is intentionally rage-baiting us at this point, because your parents are both behaving like total assholes. Big yikes also that your dad either has
(a) binge eating disorder (b) zero self-control of his most basic impulses, or © zero respect or consideration for you.
Possibly more than one of those.
Personally I think you should bake another cake, and tell them loudly and specifically not to eat it as it’s YOUR replacement birthday cake, and spike it with surprise ghost chillis.
OOP: I fully believe he has BED because he hordes fast food wrappers. It’s not the first time he’s stolen food from me.
I got a box of protein bars for Christmas (it was a box of 12) and he ate them all and left the empty box in the pantry. Then screamed at me for being upset about it and asking him to replace them. I used to go to Crumbl Cookies more often, and he would eat the cookies I bought with my own money. When I was still in school and buying snacks to bring with my lunch he would eat the entire pack. My mom likes to make large portions of food so we can live off leftovers for the week, and he eats it all in a day or two.
OOP on getting a job to support herself
OOP: They won’t let me get a job while I’m under their roof. I have no savings, no friends that could take me in, no way to get money since I have no car and need their permission to leave the house and the town we live in.
Did OOP get to celebrate her birthday away from her parents?
OOP: I got to go out with my friends, and there’s a boy I like who wished me happy birthday so that was nice! I got to see a movie the following weekend so that was also nice
OOP’s background
OOP: White, deep south America
Commenter 6: Your mom blamed you, too, for tempting him? If I were you, I’d literally make the most fattening/sugary, calorie dense cake I could find a recipe for, and keep it stocked in the fridge for the rest of the summer. Sorry if that’s too petty but I treat myself for my birthday too, so I get it.
OOP: Her exact words were “You just like to be mean and cruel. You leave food in the fridge that he likes and just expect him to not have any of it knowing he likes it, and then you throw a temper tantrum after tempting him with it”
Commenter 7: Let me guess. He doesn’t ever cook or bake a damn thing?
OOP: Correct. When he does cook he makes it how he likes (which for him means no seasonings at all because according to him it “ruins food”) and then yells at us if we don’t like it or complain
I got my cake! (Post update from the birthday cake girl): June 28, 2026 (three days later)
So, hello. I’m the girl who posted a few days ago about how my dad ate almost all of my birthday cake while I only got one slice.
Things between me and my dad are still not really on good terms. He had a flip out on me the night of my post because he (the man who never cooks) was hovering over me while I was cooking and trying to micromanage everything I was doing. He was constantly opening the oven after I put stuff in there and repositioning it, lecturing me about what seasonings I was using, asking me repeatedly if I was sure I knew what I was doing. I hate when people hover over me when I’m doing stuff, so this really bothered me. I calmly told him I didn’t need help and that I could do it myself. He then went on a rant about he was trying to “educate and help me” and if he wasn’t wanted then he would just leave. I repeated that I didn’t need any help and he proceeded to take the pot holders I was using and make a show of throwing them across the room before he stormed off.
I told my mom and she just sighed and said that I probably “caught a tone” with him even though I didn’t. I admit that I can sometimes catch an attitude (I’m 19, I think I get a bit of a pass lol) but I swear that this time when talking with him I was calm and levelheaded, I made a point of that when I was telling him I could handle the cooking. So yeah, dad is still a giant toddler, and mom is still an enabler.
Anyways, back to the actually good news and point of this post. Day of my post I ended up borrowing the car later in the day and buying myself the cake I originally wanted for my birthday. It was a Walmart/Marketside cake so nothing special or expensive. It was small so it’s all been eaten by now lol but OMG it was amazing!
My mom didn’t really care for it because it was store bought and my dad outright refused to touch it. He complained about the flavor of the cake and also said he wasn’t going to “set me off” by eating it. My mom did unfortunately make me go bring him a slice and apologize for making him feel that way, which my dad thought was hilarious. He ate the cake despite complaining about it, go figure.
So yeah, while this update isn’t things getting better with either of my parents, especially not my dad, I did end up taking the suggestion of a lot of people and just went out and bought the cake I originally wanted.
ETA: I also saw that my post was reposted on TikTok, so that was quite the surprise to be doom scrolling and then hear a “Reddit Storytime” of my own post, lol.
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: It’s really sad that your mother just accepts this kind of bullshit from him and thinks you should too. Does she not want men to treat you right?
You don’t need to keep contact with these people after you move out if it’s not adding anything to your life.
There’s a r/raisedbynarcissists, I found it helpful when I left my shitty parents. My dad was an unemployed food thief as well.
OOP:
Does she not want men to treat you right?
I hate the pull the “it’s just how things are in my family” card but there’s a lot of mean and toxic men in my family. My whole family is a bunch of addicts or untreated mentally illness, and nobody talks about it outside of the “oh we’re all crazy haha” joke.
There was an incident where my mom set me up with a guy, we dated for over a year, and he dumped me for not sleeping with him and my mom was on his side at first and wanted us to get back together. She eventually came around to my side, but it still hurt.
Commenter 2: I’m so mad for you that you have to put up with this fucking bullshit. You deserve better than this. I’m glad you bought your own cake to make yourself happy, but holy shit everything else in your post made me livid.
OOP: Yeah, I think I was just used to it during my teens years, then I moved out for college and it’s making everything affect me a lot more. It’s like I got desensitized from my desensitization.
Commenter 2: So you said you’re 19, are you (hopefully) at your parents’ house just for the summer?
OOP: Yep. Just summers and the winter break when school makes us go back. Probably going to spend Thanksgiving, Easter and Mardi Gras break at school
Commenter 3: good for you! it’s also good that you are clear on who your parents are. you can just observe your dad throwing his tantrum, and your mom adjusting his pacifier, and keep a blank face.
save every dime you make in an account they can’t touch and plot your escape. living alone someday is going to be glorious.
OOP: I can’t wait to live on my own one day. I also can’t wait to one day have my own kids and have them grow up in a house with parents that act like adults
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