100% why there is a misconception that men only want sex. Part of it is true, another part is that’s the only physical intimacy they experience

What kind of women are people dating lol? Literally every one I’ve dated and almost all Ive slept with have been SO saccharine and physically affectionate??

My friend is Bi and really only dates men, women are too much these days apparently.

God… I wish I had a boy to do this with…

And I wish I was a girl to do this with a boy…

This… really is the truth.

Many, many men… want to be able to be vulnerable, or cutesy, playful.

They want to be able to express their emotions.

They want to be able to be soft, vulnerable, silly, at least in private, with someone they trust.

But they are so often belittled and shamed for this… they often are not allowed to be soft, or are at least very much convinced by culture that softness is impossible, is weakness, is shameful, is not allowed.

Patriarchy, the constant performance and also broad expectation of tough-guy machismo… it harms men as well as women.

EDIT:

To be clear, I’m not saying ‘do this right away in a relationship’ or anything like that. You have your boundaries, they have theirs, and not all guys are the same, etc etc.

But maybe be open to it, and realize… the guy may not even realize that that is what he is lacking, may need some encouragement to soften a bit, and yeah, some guys might snap back at the suggestion, like a reflex, thinking you are insulting them, their identity via ‘manliness’.

Men can still be difficult, and shitty, no excusing that.

But… a lot of them do just have that inner child in there, that wants a hug, a shoulder to cry on.

fellas if she won’t let you cry in her shoulders in full embrace for hours in cathartic release of years of loneliness and trauma she’s not the one

Women are not there to take your trauma dumps. You can cry one your male friend’s shoulder too, and if you’re a man allow your male friends to cry on yours even encourage if you see they’re feeling bad. Be part of the solution, not the problem.

Snugs are good.

I mean… Chesterton’s Fence. Certainly there are some people who will be like “ew, gross, I don’t want a man to cry on my shoulder.” And that is their right.

But if you are a woman, then giving physical affection to the guy who desperately needs it will -not always… but enough for statistical significance - lead to the guy falling in love with you and/or trying to fuck you. And presuming they arent interested in the guy, which is often, they will then have to deal with that. Even ignoring the potential for retaliation for unrequited love, turning someone down - especially someone who is clearly in the middle of a rough patch - is, like, a whole thing. And so the mental calculus is clear: he might be miserable, but maintaining his current level of misery avoids both giving him false hope and her having to go through the emotionally taxing process of removing that false hope.

Also, women tend to already have emotional support systems. A women, say, going through a breakup will talk to her mom, her best friend from high school, her psychic, etc. If you reach out to support a man, however, you very often have just become his entire emotional support system after never having one before. Which can be, like, kind of a lot.